Run Number:

1557

23/09/07

Visit the website – http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk
Website Email –
iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue:

The Round Oak, Padworth Common

Hares:

Gromit, Dunnystumbler

Babes in the Wood

BlowJob Donut Swallow Vlad Drac FannyBag Bogbrush Spex LoudonTasteless Uplift Baldrick OldFart SlowSucker Tinopener Cerberus BillyBullshit Foghorn Dutch Vertigo Shitfer Desperate Iceman Motox C5 BlouseBlazer Spot WhiteFang Cheating Fiddler Snowballs Hamlet Fukawe Hitch-hiker Lilo Lil GT PQ Potty Nutty Simple TT2 Anorak Trainspotter Old Dog Lonely Florence Fuzzy Flamingo Ms Whiplash Salome Nils Mr Ben Mark Becky Alistair Kelly the dog Colin Suckoff Matthew Louise Nick Sam Ashliegh Merlin the dog Rowenta Birdie Harry Handful Barry Ness

Women know your limits



Good morning, Grayson.” Good Morning Mr Cholmondley-Warner.”

Isn’t it nice to see so many people out enjoying the fine British weather of a Sunday morning?” “Yes Grayson but look at all those small persons, these people have obviously been indulging in ‘conjugal unpleasantness' in order to produce orfspring” “I understand that stimulation is needed to maintain a gentleman’s ‘not only a stiff upper lip’? “ “ Yes, Grayson, I believe that pictures of the Duchess of Arbroath without a hat are most effective or there are many stimulating talks on the Home service. The whole business of conjugal activity is sordid and frightful but it is at least short.”

Unlike our run today which was long in both distance and time as we wandered searching for checks that weren’t there or were never there! We were sent on our way with a ‘joke’ about the Warden of the estate and there being no flour… No joke as it turned out! The first 20 minutes of the trail kept the pack together really well and we progressed about 800 yards trying to find the odd bit of flour. Occasionally we happened on a false which probably indicated that there was a check somewhere around! We eventually started to move at more than a walk when, after Rowenta had fallen down a “heffalump” trap concealed under some recently felled trees, Gromit took it upon herself to lead us out of the undergrowth and ironically straight into aforementioned warden. The pack faltered as we waited for committee members to come to the fore! Most of us chose to greet him with a cheery wave and an enquiry as to whether he’d seen the trail bikes that were with us today!

Worryingly after an hour and with various hashers having been miles in front until yet again the run stalled as the flour which was generously scattered about every 200 yards petered out again, we reached the re-group. Cerberis was one of many to briefly believed she knew where she was going even Billy BS was subdued today not even feeling confident enough to drag the pack off course!

We were now directed eventually exactly the opposite way to a) the direction the walkers were going in and b) anywhere near where the ON INN was marked in the middle of the road adjacent to the Pub! We sauntered on Dunny keeping a closer eye on proceedings now. Loudandtasteless had decided to keep his top on this week which was probably a relief to any passing wildlife! Blouseblazer who periodically appeared on the trail but usually from the wrong direction still had his cross to bear (Well most of the time!) .We paused to discuss with the Hash Fulham supporters club the contribution of Seol Ki-Hyeon who recently been transferred to West London as it is nearer Battersea Dogs Home. It passed the time as nobody was checking out much now. Swallow who I suspected was a bit of a night bird informed me she was an “Owl” and there are not many of those south of Watford.

Having passed the Barrows and the short/long split we were back in more familiar territory and a foot race started at the front as Trainspotter , TT2 (The new super slim version) and Fiddler vied to be first back.

You will have gathered from my mildly disparaging comments that I have now added “Women” to my list of ”People who shouldn’t be allowed to set a trail” This of course includes Blouseblazer(No flour), Cheating(Too clever by half) and any Tea-totallers (Donut,Spot etc)



An ordinary Hash,the sort we all enjoy. The men are exchanging witty stories. Look at the women aren’t they pretty, look at them laugh, aren’t they delightful! Now the conversation turns to serious matters;

I say Grayson I think that Berkshire is right with 4 blobs of flour and on” “I think you’re right” ”Then we’re all agreed.” Oh dear what is this one of the women is about to embarrass us all. “I think that the R2D2 convention of using a bar rather than an F for a false trail is better.” The ladies foolishly attempted to join the conversation with a wild and dangerous opinion of her own! What half baked drivel! See how the men look at her with utter contempt. Send her home! Women know your limits!

Information passes into a man’s mind and is evenly and tidily stored but a woman’s mind even at a relatively low level of education suddenly overloads, she cannot take in complicated information and she becomes franticly and absurdly deranged. Over education causes ugliness, premature aging and beard growth

How it should be: Mr Cholmondley-Warner, “So we’re all agreed BH3 is the correct way.”

Mrs Grayson, “I don’t know anything about hashing, I’m afraid but I do love little kittens, they’re so soft and furry.”

Mr Grayson, “What a delightful thought you dear sweet fragile thing. I adore you.”

Women know your limits. In thoughts be plain and simple and let your natural sweetness shine through!

On On. Slowsucker.

Down Downs

RA Simple presented the following :-

Name

Reason

Style points

Nutty

Breaking her ankle whilst sober!

Sitting pretty!

Motox

Hash too slow!

I believe he likes a drink!

Ashliegh

Virgin Hasher

Bullied by Simple

Iceman

Stentorous Calling!

A wee pint of heavy slipped down a treat

GT/C5/Loudon/BGB

Cross carrying

4 Straws and a pint of bitter!

The cross passed from the Royals to C5 and that motley Fulham crew.Shitfer should have had it!

Gromit and Dunny

The Hares

Sipped delicately.

Up and Coming

Run

Date

Grid Reference

Venue

Hares

1559

07/10/07
*Sunday
11 am*

510875

The Horse and Harrow, West Hagbourne OX11ONB

Bomber and Posh

1560

14/10/07
*Sunday
11 am*

765784

The Plowden Arms, Shiplake RG94BX

Hashgate, Motor-mouth and Jamie