Participants: Bedzeee, Firenze, 5C, Pexs, Obb, Hogforn Pestic, Duperm, Onsthemoney, Rickbald, Shalf, Cudpatch, GBB, Nedia, TP, Pennypops,, BayHebe, Micean, Tops, HGB, Eatching, GashHate, Lipwashh, Toxom, Yawll.

Early Risers……….

It was a motley gathering of the faithful for this the first Sunday morning run of the Winter Season. Indeed it was surprising that anyone turned up at all! First, the grid reference on the run sheet was wrong. Secondly, Dumper had, like a true prophet of doom, predicted that we would be grid locked on the motorway on account of the Newbury Show. As it was most of us took the precaution of setting out at daybreak so as to give time to find the location of the Railway Tavern (which according to the run sheet was at a grid reference that put it somewhere near Buttermere and miles from any railway line) In fact it was conveniently placed right next to the railway station in the centre of Hungerford …….. who’d a thought it?!. The traffic on the motorway had clearly been forewarned that a gang of run-crazy hashers would be steaming their way to Hungerford and both the outside lanes had been left completely clear. Consequently we all arrived at the car-park very early and bleary eyed from lack of beauty sleep. All that is except for Dutchcap, who arrived in the nick of time, via Buttermere, with friend and Virgin Hasher Diane, having believed that no one would be silly enough to publish the wrong grid reference!

Trains and Boats and……..Tarmac

After a short pep talk from Hare Tinopener, who turned up on his bike and warned that this was a run ‘for the ambitious and the fit’, we took off at some speed towards the railway line. Pausing for a moment for a quick glance up and down the line to check that the 11.05 from Newbury was not bearing down on us we made a dash across the tracks towards the canal. Some wag on the canal bridge wanted to know if we were participants of ‘The Great North Run’ – quite a compliment really! There was a bit of milling about up and down the canal path, destroying the peace and serenity of the boat-dwellers moored in the vicinity, until a breakthrough was made and front runners C5, Zebedee and Hashgate zoomed off down the trail towards the town. Not stopping to admire the valuable antiquities that Hungerford High Street offers we made our merry way through the High Street and on to the outskirts of the town. The run then began in great earnest with a steep incline (well inclines usually are steep!), the front runners were nowhere to be seen, and Tinopener appeared every so often on his Bike! We traversed up hill, down dale, across fields, through footpaths, with plenty of tarmac in between. I thought I was doing pretty well when I found myself overtaking a likely looking bunch. I galloped by in impressive style only to discover these were the walkers! My self esteem took such a knock that the rest of the run went by in a blur.

I do recall opting to take the Long Trail at one point (possibly because without my glasses I missed the large arrow with an S) and ended up struggling to ascend a long steep hill. My spirits lifted when I glimpsed a group of comely hashers milling around at the top of the hill. When they came into focus I realised there was nothing comely about them at all, just frontrunners Zebedee, C5, Hashgate etc. But this was progress, I was catching them up! When I finally joined them, they appeared to be in some disarray, and a bit unsure where to proceed. Zebedee informed me that they had found a bar 7 and I should simply retrace my tracks downhill. The expletive I uttered was by way of a shot across his bows and he came clean and shared the huge joke that all this milling about was an attempt to fool others into going back down the hill! ‘Oh’ says Florence ‘Why did you tell her’? ‘Cos she looked like she was going to hit me’ replies Zebedee. So now you know, I can be really scary when I try!

Iceman came to my rescue and showed me the way back on to the short route and I spent a pleasant time progressing down through some lovely woods and fields and eventually drew alongside Heybabe and Florence who were deep in conversation about the merits of the ‘Old Grizzly ‘Run. Florence is a veteran of said marathon and Heybabe is champing at the bit to try it! ‘Oh’ says I ‘I have thought about having a go at the Old Grizzly’ (the run that is) and before I knew it I had agreed to join Heybabe in this venture! (I have since reviewed my diary and find I am watching television that weekend, shame!)

We had a pleasant run down together across the River Kennet where, according to the walkers who have the time to observe these things, there were trout the size of dolphins. Then up and over another hill, and with Hungerford in sight, we neatly dodged the traffic on the A4 and came across two very large, very blue, and very hideous, statues of Morecombe & Wise, tucked away in a small yard. These were apparently previously positioned in a more populated location but the locals thought they were ‘obscene’ and demanded that they be moved (who could blame them!). So it is that replicas of two of our most famous comedians, who gave enormous pleasure to so many people, are consigned to some backwater. Sad really!

The final run in was back along the Canal where we were accosted by passers-by who wanted to know why we were not shouting ‘On On’ like the others! Maybe that was because we were the last!

And so to the Pub……….

A uniquely gloomy establishment, the décor of which had been clearly designed to accommodate grubby fireman taking a rest from the backbreaking task of shovelling coal to fire steam engines! Bare floorboards, lacklustre decoration, and scant lighting, gave an air of antiquity and quiet abandonment. Certainly the pub had been abandoned by other customers, for we had the place to ourselves. However, the beer was good and the landlord was busy sizzling bacon for bacon butties, which cheered the place up enormously!

On, On, Spex

Down Downs

Presented very efficiently by Spot in his new role as RA. Before doing so he informed us that he would be starting work on Monday ….we all commiserated with him and wished him well.

Name	Reason	Style

Motox	Service above and beyond the call of duty in handing out at least 400 pints during his time as RA	Downed it like a true trooper
C5	The incorrect grid reference- the one given was a place called Sheepless Hill, so he got a toy sheep's head in his beer!	Not a bad effort for someone so confused
Cheating	Trying to put his left boot on his right foot	At least he appeared to know where the beer should go
Poppypenis And PT	Visitors	Fluid and friendly style
Diane	A virgin offering ( we were kind, no one mentioned her nice new-looking pale blue running shoes)	Not at all bad for a beginner
GBH	A birthday boy - doesn't look a day younger than 57!	Downed it like an expert
Baldrick	For becoming a grandfather - Joseph John weighed in on Friday at 7 lbs 8 ozs	Couldn't finish it all, but under the circumstances we let him off
Tinopener and Miranda	The hares, for a good trail across some splendid country with some interesting features!

Up and Coming (at 11am on Sunday):

Run no. Date Grid ref Venue Hares

1349 05/10/2003 708819 The Red Lion, Peppard Common Squirrel, Kitten, Jenks

1350 12/10/2003 664829 The Four Horseshoes, Checkendon Hashgate, Motormouth

And finally, for those who wish to know, these are your committee members:

GM………………	Foghorn
Trailmaster………..	C5
Hash Cash………	Lonely
Haberdash…………	Honeymonster & Hitchhiker
Hash Scribe………	Weekly Volunteers
Membership……….	Dumper
RA………………	Spot & GBH + Volunteers
Hash Ents	Motox
Hash Tick………	Florence
Webmaster………	Iceman
On-Sex…………	Spex
Hash Mash………	Glittertits