There are lies, there are dam lies and then there's

The Gob Sheet

The Journal of ‘The Berkshire Hash House Harriers’

One person did not even run an inch on this occasion, has no knowledge of the run any antics or misdemeanours. So he had the Dictaphone thrust into his hand and was told that he was it for this week. On-On: -

Run 1351, The ‘Four Horseshoes’ at Checkenden.

Guilty Parties: - Tarmac, TC, Cuddler, Whinge, Mother, Lemming, Dutchcap, Bomber, Posh, Baldrick, Poppy, Jenks, TT2, Honeymonster, Hitchiker, Lonely, Hey Babe, C5, Spot, Dumper, Septic, Slowsucker, Iceman, Whiplash, Salome, Wally, BGB, Florence, Zebbedee, Tinopener, Mirander, Motox, Flash.

Witnesses: - All those not mentioned and the dogs, Basil, Beaver and Emma.

At this stage I could use big print to fill the page but no. Along the side of the pub is a lane referred to as a ‘quite lane’ on the nearby sign. I walked along it after the hashers had long since past only to find that a lonesome rabbit had been crossing the road, only to be flattened by the oncoming runners and left for dead by the edge of the road, very tasty it was to.

The Run,

The long trail runner’s took to the road away from the pub, some fast some slow. The two hares debated whether to accompany them or not. Being tired it was ‘not’ so they took the short trail out. Later on they all ran back again, the slower ones first followed by the faster ones. All jolly good fun I’m sure.

Shiggy yes there must have been some as Beaver returned covered in it, this I think is quite normal for Beaver. But the hashers were clean even Lemming whom used to give lessons in the stuff. Why is it that only Beaver upholds Hash tradition? This poor suffering dog (yes he was parked outside in the rain again, at Fridays full moon run) deserves a down-down.

Now what happened in between you ask? I was going to offer up a barrage of lies, untruths, libel and slanderous remarks at this stage. But the hash solicitor advised against it. So instead I will write a precise about yesterdays Bash, I was there. On out along a wide gravel track, the sprinters missing a left turn and ending up being called back by the hare. Along a leafy glade to the first check, where the trail passed through the lake, be it dried up, new uncharted paths at last.

The trails proved to be dusty and soft under wheel making way was difficult at times as the tyres dug into the ground. Oh do we need some rain to dampen down things. The hares had found plenty of ‘single track’ ‘technical’ bits as Foggy puts it to put us through our paces. These being interspersed with wide gravel tracks, causing much sliding on the corners.

No punctures on this trip, but why is it that sticks find there way into the gears just as one needs to change down fast. Grinding to a halt on the hills often means walking up to the top, before finding the momentum to get going again.

A great couple of hours in fine weather, well laid and moderate in character. Why not dust off your bikes and join in the next Bash. Lycra shorts optional, skid lids recommended. All followed by great food and drink in the pub garden that afternoon.

Down Downs

Dazz Premature senility, by arriving early at the wrong pub savoured the pint 0/10

Poppy Wearing a heart monitor, he’s alive slow but sure 4/10

Hey Babe Caught shagging, says C5 all on the floor ouch!

Blowjob who knows done this before 10/10

Nonstick being unsociable prefering running to talking well drunk 8/10

Hares Spot and Hashgate, have you noticed how Spot’s been training lately 10/10 for both

A welcome return to the Hash advisor: -

Dr. Gob's Advice Column

Thrush. Are you relieving the symptoms and treating the infection?

This article gives you simple facts about thrush. And it will explain why thrush is nothing to be scared about - as long as you understand and treat it properly.

What is thrush? Thrush is the technical term for an infection commonly called Wally.

What are the typical symptoms of thrush? A loud tingle is heard causing pain in the eardrums, then usually those infected resort to abuse to relieve the symptom, when this fails frustration is followed by despair and depression.

Where does the infection live? It lives not far from the Berkshire border. Where for most of the time it does no harm as its partner keeps it in check.

Should I use an external cream to treat thrush? Cream (or mud) plays an important role in the treatment of thrush by providing quick cooling short term relief of the irritation. But by its very nature, it is an external treatment for the symptoms of thrush. It's also important to get rid of the cause of thrush.

How can I get rid of the cause of thrush? Giving false grid references and changing at short notice the venue of runs has proved to be only slightly effective. Rubbing out flour marks and checks, not calling on has in the past shown to be more effective in the short term, but the infection always returns.

What about tablets? These will reduce the headache that accompanies thrush, but is usually only available when it is to late, i.e. when the infection has past.

Can I prevent thrush? In the past, would be assassins have always given up as the infection takes hold, declaring "that he could do it better". Only complete isolation will work.

When should I see a doctor? Immediately on first contact, your GP will be able to refer you to a psychiatrist who will explain the situation. You will be told that things can and will get better, they don't in fact. But once infected you will find, that you just couldn't do without it.

Next Run

26th, October ‘Bottle and Glass’, Binfield Heath, grid ref. SU742792


25th, October ‘Calleva Arms’, Silchester, grid ref. SU628621

park in nearby car park

3pm Start

details Motox, 01189 583887

Bombers new mini dress Its not the empty glass there smiling about Venue