Run Number: 1352 19/10/03 Visit the website -

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Venue: Chobham


Hares: Cheating BGB C5 Zebedee plus a cast of thousands

The Gullible

Honeymonster Dumper Septic Motox Pissquick Glittertits Posh Bomber Iceman Lemming Mother Jenny Spot Baldrick Uptake Hashgate Cloggs Non-stick Hitch-hiker Dutchcap Poppy Slowsucker Florence Tinopener Miranda + dog Emma




Arriving at 10.57 which by my recent efforts is very early; I parked next to the already assembled throng where Cheating was in full arm waving flow. People clutched small maps nervously and it soon became apparent that the instructions for this morning’s extravaganza were far too complicated to listen to. “Watta mistaka to maka” However this was not to be ”Hallo Hallo” rather “Goodbye,Goodbye” as most had only registered “several beer stops” and set off into the wild in blissful ignorance of the route march ahead.

In years to come dog walkers or fellow hashers will find the skeletal remains of those who never made it back or like Japanese soldiers, Ben Gunn like figures clothed in rags still with ON ON barely recognisable through the grime will


Blasted Heath

stagger from the undergrowth croaking “Did you see the last check?”


The pack moved off in a starburst formation only previously achieved by Wally on our last visit to Chobham. Confusion reigned and already murmurings were heard from Surrey about the chaos. I passed Dumper and Septic on different paths each going in different directions. Eventually we got going despite the savage Surrey dogs dragging their owners behind them and causing mayhem (Beaver is a pussycat compared to these ravening beasts). Hither and thither we went even through some shiggy (remember that!) eventually crossing the scenic M3 with Motox and Iceman to the fore. At this stage Bomber, Slowsucker and Non-stick amongst others decided to follow the walkers trail backwards for half a mile or so until it was pointed out that if we turned around and looked across the valley, in the far distance one could just see the regroup on a large hillock. It had taken over an hour to reach this the first beer stop! Zebedee insisted that the trail was only three a half miles (And London’s only 20 miles from Reading!)

The FRBs were punished with a down down though Bomber only reluctantly….He only ever drinks from cut glass crystal tumblers and slightly soiled plastic cups were clearly beneath him!


We were sent on our way by a splendidly mustachioed gentleman with Lord Kitchener on his chest and Union Jack running shorts. Motox led the way after eventually picking up flour a long way out. This part of the trail was fairly straightforward though later Zebedee was punished for a refusal at a water jump and Baldrick for “long cutting” At the regroup Colonel Blimp awarded various hats, masks and horns to a random selection of victims including Cloggs.


Around the third hour only impressions remain through the haze of fatigue;

  1. Why was Non-stick running half naked ?

  2. What is Spot taking as he ran away from the pack in the last hour?

  3. Doesn’t Hashgate look like a pint of Guiness from behind ?

  4. Why didn’t the hares use poofy pink flour for the whole of the walkers trail?

  5. Why didn’t I join the queue to console Posh after we’d lost Bomber?

  6. What were Honeymonster and Jenny doing in a car at the last beer stop?

  7. Is Motox now called “Hitch-hiker 2” after getting a lift back to the finish?

The stragglers C5, Zebedee,Slowsucker,Iceman,Poppy(How did he get that name?) and led by Spot arrived back at the finish to see the rest of the Hash well tucked into the Picnic.


To all the various Hashes and Hares who laid trail……………..I think I mean that !

To all the providers of food and drink which was fantastic!


Yes lots!!!


To the next run sheet!!