Run Number:

1361 21/12/03

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The Sun, Whitchurch Hill


Chopstix and Foghorn

Who was there

Spot Hamlet Honeymonster Twanky Shitshoveller Handful Non-stick Cloggs Cheating Lemming Mother T Dribbler Iceman BGB Motox Florence Hashgate Jenks Alistair Catherine Dutchcap C5 Cerberus Premature Trainspotter Anorak Bomber Posh Heybabe John Barr Wally Lonely Beaver Josephine Suckon and Lou the guy from Looe

And what happened………….

RIP It was a sad day for Lou. After travelling far and wide with BH3, sleeping in garden sheds, kitchens, armchairs and even (it’s rumoured) Motox’s bed, he found his final resting place. On that crisp sunny morning he was placed on the bonfire remains in The Sun garden while the merry throng danced around in their festive gear. Lou looked a forlorn character with only one hand, a white bra, Michael Jackson baseball cap and very little stuffing. Only Motox had a tear in his eye as he bid farewell. Jenks’s children on the other hand were delighted and went off in search of matches……….

Foghorn warned us at the start to beware of “old” flour from the bike bash trail. Later when I asked how to tell the difference between new and old he said “Touch it and see if it’s hard” !!!!!! I thought it was best to make myself scarce. This was a trail full of surprises. We were surprised if we were actually on it! Twanky was surprised to see llamas in the field instead of boring baarkshire sheep, there were people from the Riviera and Cyprus hashes who thought our weather and countryside was surprisingly good and there were surprise appearances by Jenks and Handful (a year older and wiser but you couldn’t tell!)

Near the start Lemming had decided to pick on someone his own size for a change and took on children Alistair and Catherine, hurting his back in the process. It must have been painful as later on Mother pointed out that Lemming was acting in a very unLemming-like way, avoiding all the mud and puddles. However the sight of Chopstix near some mud was too much of a temptation for him and his back was somehow cured and Chopstix was not very clean.

At one point there was a “W” on the trail which Bomber suggested was for “woad” because we had to cross one. Other ideas were “wankers”, ”Wally” or “Walkers” but Posh decided that it meant “Whip” and so gave Trainspotter a severe whipping with a bramble which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Once Jenks had dropped the kids back home (we were running in his back garden!) he was back to his old self attacking Cloggs at his first opportunity leaving her with mud in her eye and all over her pristine “tough-guy” shirt .Non-stick looked on smirking – I bet he paid for that later.

After much thrashing about in the woods we eventually came to the on-inn though some including Mother were unsure of the way to the pub even then!

Verdict : Good, confusing trail with vicious holly.

RA C5 presented the following Down Downs halves of beer with port/sherry/brandy chasers



Style points

Riviera Hashers Suckon, Maneater, Josephine and Cyprus hasher Shitshoveller


Shitshoveller was the outright winner

Discrimination - only the men got the port


Hurting his back taking on Jenks’s kids

Extremely stylish in yellow fleece hat lovingly made by Mother from his hash bodywarmer


Couldn’t have a wee in the woods because it was too cold – trying to keep it warm for Christmas

Motox’s chaser looked a different colour from everyone else’s – hope it wasn’t what he couldn’t do earlier!

Cloggs and Non-stick

Shaggers. Sex before the hash giving Cloggs back trouble

Pathetic by Cloggs who made little impression on the beer and put the sherry in her mouth but didn’t swallow

Hashgate and BGB

Naivety. Hashgate for believing Cheating when he said a trail was false and BGB tripped up by Beaver

Hashgate was slow as usual and threw the sherry over his shoulder….maybe for luck

BGB was so fast that we didn’t notice

Chopstix and Foghorn

The hares

Professional although Chopstix didn’t seem that keen on the port

The Christmas Day Hash at The Six Bells, Burghfield Village was attended by 8 hardy hashers and one hare. The hashers were Uplift, Yankit, Trainspotter, Anorak , Honeymonster, Florence, Flash ( in Santa hat ),and Handful. The hare was Motox. Fortified by port, the hashers set off on a scenic trail of the gravel pits and waste tips of the Burghfield area. Hampered by the size of their brains and the heaviness of the clay in the local fields the 45 minute trail took one hour and forty minutes. All were rewarded with a healthy satsuma by Motox as this was the second of his 5 fit festive days of Christmas. Then it was on in to the pub for lashings of ginger beer (for Uplift and Florence) and much jovial yuletide merriment especially from the landlady who was still p***ed from the previous evening!.

Receding Hare-line

Run Number


Grid Reference






The Horns, Crazies Hill

Cloggs& Non-stick




The White Hart, Moneyrow End, Holyport

Old Fart

Don’t forget the Burns Night Supper and Barn dance on 24th January

At Shiplake Village Hall

£12 for members £15 for non-members

See Motox for tickets