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Venue: Seven Stars, Knowle Hill

The Engagement Party

Spot, BGB, Hashgate, Ms Whiplash, Hitchhiker, Poppy Penis, Chopsticks, Posh, Bomber, Mother, Lemming, Pissquick, Glittertits, Foghorn, Lonely and Beaver, Le Voisin, Honeymonster, Dutchcap, Cloggs, Non-stick, Motox, Imposter, Cheating, Caboose, Salome, Florence Mark, Angela, Robert, Peter, Francis, Matt and Slowsucker


Premature and Cerberus

The Wedding March

It’s nice to see a relationship move beyond Rohipnol (The only way that most of the male hashers are going to get any action these days) Posh and Bomber are engaged. Ahhhhh! Having justified my clip art that’s enough of that romantic stuff … On to the Hash.

Arriving outside of the Seven Stars it was soon apparent that Santa had not been generous in bringing the gathering new running kit for Xmas as it was the usual collection of ill fitting, well worn favourites. (Though later Cheating claimed to have been modelling the Surrey Hash 1500th run T-shirt.) If only he’d run with the rest of us instead of casting around the woods and fields at random with the other usual suspect, BGB, more us might have enjoyed the sight. It was also clear that Hashgate’s New Year resolutions did not include political correctness as modesty prevents me from repeating the offer he made to the lovely Cerberus at the pre-run briefing! We welcomed “Virgin” Francis to the ensemble – He clearly hadn’t been warned about the trail setting style of the hares. Premature’s nickname at his “other club” is Billy Liar though this is a bit unfair as he doesn’t actually lie and most of us were fairly certain that his promise that we’d be “back at the pub for a beer by 12” was the usual load of bull!

I’ve no idea what happened at the start as Matt, Cheating, Peter, Robert, Francis and I picked up the trail only to wait an age whilst the pack finally decided to join us. By this time Cheating had disappeared and Matt and I were still dithering until Spot took off along the correct trail. Eventually in dribs and drabs familiar faces appeared and we set off into the woods mainly off track. Previously I had thought “Bar 6” was a brand for cattle but was lured into a plantation by this low ploy. We emerged from one thicket to be met by two heavily camouflaged hunters surrounded by lady hashers all admiring their big guns. Ms Whiplash, Dutch-cap, Hitchhiker and Florence were all of a twitter and a little later Hitch-hiker was spotted touching up her lipgloss- surely no coincidence!

Spot’s rule of checking held firm for the next section (“If you can see a blob from a check, go the other way.”) We wound our way to the top of the hill and back down again to the regroup where a worried Cerberus was clearly concerned that we’d lost Cheating and BGB(They claimed to be hiding.. How sad)

We set off again to be thwarted by a Bar 9 where Foggy drew the pack in by hiding and continuing to call. The Hares at this stage appeared to be making the trail up as they went along. After a rather futile loop where it looked as if we were “On Inning” to the Dewdrop Inn, we set off across some fields. My morning, which included doing a Baldrick into a Rhodedendrum bush, being falsely accused of calling a non-existent check, was completed by failing miserably to open a heavily padlocked gate much to the amusement of my son.

We now headed for home with the pace quickening as a field of bulls paid more than a passing interest to the panting throng. Back in the car park, Lemming, who had shown signs of common sense out on the trail, leading on occasions, was now frolicking in the puddles with the other arch splasher Foggy… What a contrast: One, with bald pate glistening with muddy water, the other with what appeared to be a dead raccoon on his head. Foggy claims to be growing a pony tail but without a trim the whole ensemble will resemble a Davy Crockett hat!!

A long run……Quelle surprise !!



For his New Year live run finishing 4 minutes ahead of the pack

Three gulps!


Birthday boy. Beaver enjoyed the cake

Like a pro !


The engaged couple

Finished together!


The Virgin

Slow and steady!

Ms Whiplash

For shutting her finger in the door of Halfords

A Halfords voucher

Premature and Cerberus

The Hares

Premature started slowly and finished quickly.. Is there a clue in his Hash name!


50 run awards to Premature and Cerberus



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