Berkshire Hash House Harriers
Run Number : 1377
Venue : The Wellington, Baughurst
A Stroll in the Park (Dark ?)
As many as could be seen in the gloom : Aqua, Baldrick, BGB, Bomber, Bob, Bumblebee (Jackie), C5, CL, Caboose, John Canning, Centaur, Cerberus, Chopsticks, Dragon Lady, Dumper, Dutch, Fiddler, Flash, Florence, Foghorn, Glittertits, Hamlet, Happy, Harry Potter, Hitch Hiker, Honey Monster, Iceman, Itsyor, Jenny, Steve Lee, Lonely, Motox, Mr Blobby, Mrs Blobby, Old Dog, Paella, PuppyPenis, Premature, PQ, Posh Tart, Rob Roy, Septic, Slowsucker, Spex, Spot, Tin Opener, Two Bob + younger son, Uplift, Utopia, Wally, Miss Whiplash.
A goodly pack of about 40 eventually gathered for the first Summer (Monday) run at The Wellington in Baughurst, NOT in Pamber End as advertised. Your scribe had a shiny object pressed into his hand but this only turned out to be the new electronic dictaphone – I had been ‘volunteered’ for scribe duty. With no time to read the instructions I missed the fact that the record button was an on / off affair not ‘push to record’ so most of the observations were lost, replaced mainly by much heavy breathing, forcing reliance on an all too fallible memory.
Finally called to order by Foghorn, after a few short instructions from Dumper on special ‘S’ marked checks for the short trail, the pack was directed out just after 7 pm on a mild Spring Monday evening.
After a short piece of tarmac, a left turn led across a field and down a muddy lane to the first ‘S’ check as notified by the hare. The official short-cutters continued along the edge of a field while the rest of the pack milled about a small copse. Flour (apart from an obvious F) was duly found but eventually traced back round the edge of this copse (the centre being a smelly bog) back to the check. Once sorted out, the trail proved to be straight down the lane with its copious shiggy and puddles – strange nobody seemed to miss Lemming or his acolytes. A left turn at the next check fooled many who ran straight through, so a bunched-up pack reached the next ‘S’ marked check.
The main pack searched a field and wood to the right while the short trail led straight-on. After various confused calls the hare called us all back and directed us in the direction of the ‘S’ a cunning subterfuge to keep the pack together. At this point Glitter Tits turned his ankle and was found lying on the ground, surrounded by concerned women. Although advised of the quick way back he decided to battle on and managed to partially run off the injury. In fact the trail was a loop which ran round the field and back into the bottom of the wood earlier searched for trail – which accounted for earlier confusing calls of On-On in contradiction to the hares directions – clearly some had bypassed the ‘F’s.
The trail continued along the bottom edge of this wood for some distance with a stream meandering to the left, sometimes in the wood, sometimes across meadows. On emergin onto a road and a reaching a check (left or right?) the hares had provided a back-check that defeated almost all the front runners and once again compressed the pack. Yes, it was back into the woods and long the stream and eventually down a farm track and again back out onto a road and a check. This time tarmac (on- left) was the correct call for at least 100 m then a right turn back into woodland (with a check 20m before with a false into the wood which kept some of the FRBs busy). A stream then required crossing, with some keeping their feet dry by finding a log to cross by, others happy to splash through. Leaving this stream and going left up a hill found a strange arrowed bar (looking like a surveyer’s benchmark but on the ground). The arriving C5 swiftly converted this into an proper arrow saving some of use a loop through the frees and undergrowth.
Very shortly another, very familiar, stream crossing appeared (last seen on the all-ladies Hare run of 22nd Feb) as the sun began to set. The trail led on up the hill, fork right at the top, through several checks and past a dark conifer wood which by now severely reinforced the gathering gloom. Happily the trail (and the now well strung-out pack – described as a huddle of hashers) emerged into open fields with good turf underfoot, across a cross-roads and left across two further fields. Here Foghorn berated short-cutters with a loud but unconvincing “get orf my laand” in his best ? Berks dialect but was ignored. Finally we reached the road and had only a short run back to the pub. By now its was quite dark and the pub recognised from afar by its sole illuminated sign. Dumper’s confession that he had cut out a 20 minute ‘on-inn’ loop round the back of the pub was well judged as the tail of the pack straggled back in the dark.
The restricted space in the pub was mitigated by a mild night which saw most hashers congregate outside – making the circle easy to form but the RA’s voice hard to hear above the chatter when it can to Down-Downs.
Birthday Boys & Girls:
Motox, Mrs Blobby & Chopsticks - cake and three pints soon scoffed.
Falling in the mud :
Iceman & Slowsucker - quickly disposed off
Attracting excessive female attention by twisting his ankle :
Glitter Tits - well downed.
The Hares: Dumper & C5 - swift by C5, retained for later consumption by Dumper.
Run 1379 - Red Lion, Upper Basildon (NGR 597762) Hares: Florence & Spot