Run Number:1389 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: The Plough, Little London


Hares: Lemming and Mother


Slartibartfast et al

Iceman, Spot, Puppypenis, Glittertits, Pissquick, C5, Motox, Jaywax, BGB, Tinopener, Captain Y-Fronts, Baldrick, Simple Simon, Cloggs, Florence, Lucy, Ian, Robert, Pete, Old Fart, Ruth, Charlotte, Twanky, Babydoll, Mr and Mrs Blobby, Blowjob, Foghorn(NR), Cheating, Slowsucker, Dutchcap, Itsyor, Steve, Abby, Linda Green, Salome, Miss Whiplash, Phil, Specs, Chopstix, Fiddler, Lonely and Beaver, Shitshoveller, Dwight & Family, Centaur, Hamlet, Fanula, Emma, Jo, Julia, Toby, Sam, Premature, Dumper(NR) and Septic, Honeymonster(NR)


The Lost World(Wood)


The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy contains much that is apocryphal if not wildly inaccurate. In many parts of the more relaxed civilizations of the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy (Bracknell and Wokingham) it is considered the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom and the late Douglas Adams, it’s author was almost certainly a hasher as his wholly remarkable book has “DON’T PANIC” inscribed in large friendly letters on it’s cover. Advice that all newcomers to the hash should well heed as they view the ragbag of sorts that compose BH3 (and of course bring a towel) In fact these ape descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think Digital watches are a pretty neat idea. None more primitive than our Troglodyte (I mean Hare) for the evening, Lemming who bounced happily around the car park sprinkling flour over any slow witted enough to get too close to him.


The Hares thought it fun to send us on our way to the left of the pub and as the FRBs searched vainly down the road where flour had been spotted, the rest of the pack picked there way through the stinging nettles to the large field beyond and had strung out around the perimeter as the back markers caught up. Some decided to shortcut across the field including Lonely. The futility of this exercise is curious as apart from discovering that amusingly Lemming had marked a Bar 11 on the far side, he then proceeded to take off both shoes to remove grass seeds. As we made our way back across the field, a small bald head appeared from the road and wittily called ”On back”Laugh… my sides were aching! Having returned to the pub Fiddler, Cheating and myself erroneously explored the road the other way. So at the back again we entered the usual field behind the pub to see all and sundry stretching out into the distance. It’s usually a slog to get to the front from this position but Puppy and I followed Hamlet (A local). result, that is until the flour disappeared. The next 20 minutes were a complete confusion as we crossed the forest, in and out of the trees, backwards and forwards, on and off footpaths. Someone was calling in the distance- Premature as it turned out. We were eventually directed back onto track by the doe eyed Mother and even she looked sheepish (Perhaps explaining Lemming’s fatal attraction?) At some stage I met up with Premature, Cheating and Centaur who seemed to be setting the pace but quickly lost them again. We passed into territory more familiar to a Lemming trail i.e. Shiggy and water though last time we were here the whole are was flooded. A bar on the only bridge across the stream led us to the rope swing clearly suited to the lighter of us! Motox was the visible front-runner and Charlotte on her first hash was keeping up well though there were clearly others ahead as some of the checks had been kicked through. After some more misdirection when Baldrick and Spot led us the wrong way and I met Captain Y – fronts coming back from another long false we picked up the trail back to the field from whence we had started and pausing only to follow Phil the wrong way (He was going to his car!) we “On Inned”


We convened to the field again for the “Down Downs” and to consume leftovers from the fun run. Chopstix sliced cheese and Motox dispensed flat beer (“Like love in a canoe” as my father would have described it!) It was one of those Glastonbury moments – Setting sun, good company, beer, the smell of liquefied slurry wafting gently on the evening breeze, no Wally…..Ah perfect!


THE FUN RUN


It should be mentioned that this was won by Lonely who yet again lulled Motox in under handicapping him. Second and fastest was Fiddler who clearly enjoys the unfettered freedom of not being in a rowing 8! First Lady was…………



DOWN DOWNS

RA Motox presided over the following awards;


SPOT/HONEYMONSTER

/PISSQUICK/GLITTERTITS

Hares from the Horse and Groom 2 week ago!

Motox kept that beer especially!

LONELY

“The Silly One” Shoes full of seeds!

Very quick (Like yesterday!!)

MR BLOBBY

Back from injury to a Bar 11

Drinking hasn’t suffered!

SIMPLE SIMON

“The Bully” Bra strap abuse and general misogyny!

Punished here last year as well!

SALOME

“Hashy Birthday” and 200 Hundred Runs (Walks?)

The smallest cake yet!

FOGHORN

“Brain-dead” Went to the Queen’s College Arms. Well he hasn’t been doing this for long!

The beard didn’t even get wet!

CHARLOTTE

Her first Hash

Water daintily drunk!

BABYDOLL

Off to Nottingham to study.

Awarded a dress. Tres belle!

OLD FART

“Poser” Speeding in the Forest!

Not bad

SLOWSUCKER

“Brainless” Deeply insulting asides!!!

Flat beer still gives you wind!

STEVE

Christened “Scarlet Pimpernel” They seek him here, they seek him there! 3 years it’s taken to pin him down! For being a spy and always bringing young ladies with him. For a man of his age he’s in good nick!

Blowjob made sure that he’ll still be finding flour for weeks!

LEMMING AND MOTHER

The Hares

Rubbish!





ON ON TO

RUN NO.

DATE

GRID REF.

VENUE/PUB DETAILS

HARES

1393

02/08/04


THE NEXT RUN SHEET

YES