Run Number:1393 Visit the website -

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Venue: The Seven Stars, Knowle Hill

Hares: Baldrick and Honeymonster

The Vegetables

Spot, Motox, BGB, Tinopener, Simple Simon, Florence, Robert, Old Fart, Foghorn, Slowsucker, Phil, Specs, Shitshoveller, Bomber, Posh, Hitch-hiker, Dunny, Uplift, Bob, Slackbladder and Crapper, Nutty, Potty, John, Blowjob, Hashgate, Lucy, Shutupwally, Scarlet Pimpernel, Chopstix, Harry Potter, Jaywax, Twanky, Mrs Blobby, C5, Dumper, Septic, Spex, Donut, Dutchcap, Tony, Amanda and dog Barney, Premature, Comfort(From Wycombe), Le Voisin, Pissquick, Glittertits, Caboose, Old Dog, Cloggs, Clipped Wings, Claire, Anorak 2(R2D2 version), Electric Wire(Bash name), Nigel(V), Alistair(V), Cerberus, Headboy

Rehashed and very warm!

REHASH – to rework, reuse or makeover (old or already used material)

On a hot and sultry evening we gathered at the Seven Stars where I was reminded of a Spanish omelette as Baldrick reworked an old favourite. Apart from the quirk of “On Outing” across the field at the back of the pub, I had a sense of déjà vu from early on; in fact I had a sense of déjà vu from early on! Lots of bits of trails you’d run before but mixed up into a new concoction. Actually once we got into the wood; it was pretty well Cerberus and Premature’s Hash from a few months ago. OK maybe the flour wasn’t on exactly the same tree but fairly close, and, like a Spanish omelette, all those old vegetables (and I’m not talking about Le Voisin, Dumper or Motox here) rehashed makes quite a pleasant snack (Jamie Oliver who’s he!) Entering the woods apart from an early “Bar 5”, it was straight on at the first check. We lost Hashgate briefly as he dived into some undergrowth after Spot allegedly checking a trail. Spot however was just after relief (I have no comment!). The second check was a back check; always a successful ploy to cause major confusion and it was probably Motox who found “The way through the woods”. We re-grouped on a major track near the closed footpath unfortunately not having lost Shutupwally who was being more than usually aggravating.

After the restart it was Comfort from Wycombe who found the flour off trail and we hacked through the brush to a fallen tree where Slackbladder and his hound awaited us though it was not clear how he’d got there! We sent him off up a false and chased after Dunny and Simon amongst others. Simon led the way down a long trail chased by Hashgate and Cerberus. He can move pretty fast when he wants to – Well you would with Cerberus baying at your heels and Hashgate looking for more firm buttocks to follow into the bushes! We were diverted off the path to another Bar which allowed Shitshoveller running at optimum pace to pick up the correct path (Back on familiar tracks again) Another back check concertinaed the field and then a long section through brambles and along a bank brought us to the second regroup which was in a bush.

Now it all got a bit technical as Baldrick and his lovely assistant Honeymonster explained that after the next long/medium split we were “On arrows” which I thought at first was an invitation back to the pub for a game of darts. We moved onwards and suddenly there was BGB(Spotted once crossing a false but not again!) and this proved fortuitous as he’d clearly checked out and managed to send half the Hash on a track towards the Dewdrop Inn. Premature, Hashgate and Slowsucker toiled up the hill to the next split where we were now on aforesaid arrows some marked BH3. Now FRBs like Premature and I loved this as we raced downhill without having to think (Easier for some than others as Premature quickly vanished the wrong way, leaving me alone and calling to myself!) The trail wound in and out eventually arriving at the top of the field used for the annual Steam rally each August. In the distance the walkers were crossing the field back to the pub and I sped “On Inn” receiving much abuse on the way. Nearly all were back within a few minutes as yet again Baldrick’s “cunning plan” got walkers and long trailers home together.

Prior to the run Florence as usual arrived punctually (late) and unerringly found a parking space in the lorry park at the end of the lay-by. She told me later “she liked trucking (or that’s what I thought she said) and all those big rigs make her Yorkie go squidgy.” What can one say!

As we mingled in the car park after the run I noticed Posh handing out flyers and she clearly wasn’t arranging a Tupperware party. She was organizing her “Hen night” which confused your scribe as hasn’t she just got married? She was reluctant to give details of the venue (I wonder why?!) but did admit to “Doing everything backwards,” which probably explains Bomber’s permanent smile! As for “Hens” somebody described most of the invitees as “Old boilers” and who am I to disagree, as certainly not many of them would pass the pencil test (Though neither would most of the older male members!) We look forward to the reception.

Dumper was strutting his stuff in his new bottoms. It is tempting to suggest that he and Septic be renamed “Wallace and Gromit” as these were clearly “the wrong trousers”. A man of his age should know better but they did set off his varicose ankles rather prettily! They were clearly making Septic nervous as she later dropped a tray of cake and was then heard bemoaning that “it’s gone bendy” We all hope for her sake she was referring to the cardboard tray but I suspect this an age thing (and the dreadful realization that she is sharing her life with a man wearing much younger trousers)

Old Dog was still doing the rounds having failed to pick up some unsuspecting punter in a red sports car earlier (He was sober and it was daylight!) By the by did you know that “Old dogging” is very popular with Saga members though one is clearly more likely to run in to Stan Bowles than Stan Collymore and the repetitive clinking of Zimmer frames is irritating.


RA Spot presided over the following awards;


During Interhash she hitched a lift from a passing farmer in his “4 Wheel drive”

Is that straw I see in your hair!


For organizing the whole of Inter-hash so well! Apparently it was perfect and BH3 have been asked by Hashes across the world to award Wally a “down down” in gratitude but he’s still a “Gobby git”

A lot of dribbling as usual!


Wrote disparagingly about the “Wednesday Whingers” in the Inter-hash programme. Doused in water by assorted harriettes

Florence got carried away and knocked the pint out of his trembling hand!


A Virgin

Not bad till he bottled it!


Going into the bushes “Inconveniently” after Spot

The swiftest of halves!


Christened “Loud and tasteless” after his penchant for Welsh lovelies (Surely an oxymoron!) Motox vainly led a rebel group who tried to change the name to “Willy Wonka”(Other names suggested were “Chocolate Bob” and “Marsaday”. So persistent was he that Spot wasted one of the Hare’s pints and drenched him.

Valiantly drunk


Apparently that old cottager C5 importuning on Donut’s behalf brought her together with Aussie “Rude Dog” who wanted to “Take her to the outback on his kangaroo!” I’ve never heard it called that before and she seems to have survived the fore-play- “Brace yourself Sheila” Alleged “Rampant sex”

Lucky bloke!


Hashy Birthday

Well downed


The Hares




















Join “Spex” and “Loud and Tasteless” for a summer Sunday stroll and then all back to their place for a Sunday Roast – Mm sounds fun!

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