Run Number:1397 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: Crown & Cushion, Minley

Hares: The Tremblers

The White Heather Club

Spot, Motox, Florence, Foghorn, Slowsucker, Slackbladder, Mr & Mrs Blobby, Old Dog, Itsyor, Lonely, BGB, Iceman, Cerberus, Premature, Robert, Pete, Utopia, Hitch-hiker, Posh, Bomber, Shutupwally, Cheating, Hashgate, Cloggs, Non-stick, Harry Potter, Caboose, Mafia, Hamlet, Pissquick, Glittertits, Honeymonster, Slipperynipple, Dwight and family, Elaine and Lois(V)

Certainly not a “Big yin”

On a rapidly cooling Bank Holiday Monday evening most gathered earlier than usual to exchange small talk in the car park prior to setting out. Posh and Bomber arrived looking very smart from a 50^th birthday party (An old friend. excuse me!) I discussed scouting with Hashgate as I knew he was involved with his local troop and I’d read that you could now get a badge for “rapping” in the new mod-

Hare Trembler introduced the run as possibly being a bit short as he’d run out of flour. Last time we were here on a Sunday morning he managed to get us back before the pub opened- At least we wouldn’t have that problem tonight. We On outed across the road and headed towards Gibraltar Barracks waving to Harry Potter who was arriving as we departed. A bemused guard and dog watched from behind the wire of the base as BH3 passed by. The flour now climbed up onto a semi-circular earthwork. Cheating ignored this ploy and went straight on whilst Shutupwally and Cloggs tried to scale the almost vertical face which was equally pointless. We then proceeded across a blasted heath led by the shortcutting BGB with bottomless shaggy on either side for the unwary. Hashgate now pulled up with a twinge and joined the short trailers. The rest of us climbed steadily to the clearing at the top of the wood with Shutupwally leading with his lip as usual. He never stopped chuntering the whole way round except when he was at the front when there was never a call! He claimed to be using “Dead reckoning” to guide him and this led to a pit where he alleged somebody had tried to push him in on a recent “Bike bash” We reckoned they wished he was dead! The trail now turned downhill with Premature and Pete leading the way past a beautiful deer frozen in it’s tracks by the pursuing pack. At this stage BGB and Cheating appeared as if by magic from opposite directions (Neither the right one!) and then disappeared again into the woods.. Oh well different strokes for different folks! Arriving at a small lake we were greeted by Foghorn calling us On across the water.. Who does he think he is...Jesus? We were now clearly heading home and picked off the walkers and short trailers as the pace wound up. Arriving back at the pub Premature and I reckoned we’d been out for 40 minutes, which beats Dumper’s record from earlier in the summer by 5 minutes though in Tremblers defence at least some running was involved tonight. Dumper’s trail had us milling around for 45 minutes looking for the trail!

It was nice to be back with plenty of time to chat – Well most of us were! Two of our number were very tardy. Speculation was rife and mainly slanderous. We shall call them Hansel and Gretel to protect the innocent! When they eventually strolled in they were both quite flushed – Difficult one would think given the pace they were walking and the chill of the evening? It is not for me to pass comment suffice to say that it is good to see an aging canine being well exercised (It prolongs active life apparently!)

Slippery had returned to the fold this evening and was eagerly recounting her fledgling career as a Radiographer. Strangely the subject veered to nurse’s uniforms. Thongs are banned as they upset the patients. Nurses have to wear big knickers under their white nylon outfits. At this point Hashgate’s breathing was becoming increasingly stentorian and Slippery and I became concerned for his health. He clearly has a problem with his chest!

The highlight of the evening for other male members especially Motox was the appearance of one of the lady bar staff wearing a full length rubber apron, boots, gloves, goggles and carrying a rubber mallet. Suggestions as to her mode of dress ranged from a primitive form of contraception to an extreme method of rooting out the more recalcitrant drinkers after time. It appears that this is the required dress for changing a barrel (and we drink the stuff!)

I’m sure all the Hash would like to wish Baldrick a speedy recovery from his injuries suffered during last Sunday’s “Bike Bash” He was lucky not to be run over by a passing motorist unaccustomed to the Scot’s habit of lying in the middle of the road usually after over imbibing! At the Down Downs he was voted Hash Health and Safety Officer!

HASH ACTS FOR THE 17^th OF OCTOBER

We need entertaining during our 1400^th Run celebrations. If you can tell a joke or a funny story, sing a song, mime, dance, play an instrument, stick your hand up a dummy or all these things at once – We need you! Have you got the X Factor? We can’t promise you Simon Cowell but other well-known impresarios may be there! Salome has touched up her roots and booked her spot already!

Tickets are £5 and more details available from Motox (Food and drink included!)

Down Downs

RA Spot announced the following awards;

On On to;