Run Number:1400 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: The Fox, Hermitage


Hares: Simon, Dunny & Linda Green


The Hounds

Spot, Motox, Florence, Foghorn, Slowsucker, Lonely, BGB, Iceman, Shutupwally, Hamlet, Tinopener, Miranda & Emma, Captain Haystax, Nippontuck, Puppypenis, Lemming, Mother, Barry, Ness, Anne, Sue(V), Anita, Dumper, Septic, Lyn, Tony, C5, Uplift, Pissquick, Jeremy, Diane, John, James, Nils, Jo, Flash, Shitshoveller, Emma. Honeymonster


Completely “Foxed”

For our 1400th run we were set our annual challenge of negotiating the traffic heading for the Newbury show or attempting the alternative scenic route cross-country. C5 sees this as his role each year to find a pub within hearing distance of the PA and Simon and fellow hares Linda and Dunny were only too keen to cooperate.


This being the first Sunday run, Lemming and Mother joined us. Lemming hibernates during the “dry” summer months and only re-appears when activated by sufficient rainfall for him to splash happily through the puddles and shiggy. C5 called us to order and we were duly warned to avoid the aggravating little imp but to no avail. Mother applied “lippy” or was it heavy- duty chap-stick to protect her delicate lips from the inevitable drenching.


We on outed and the early front runners were soon turned back by a Bar 5 in the woods. Slowsucker insisted on re-checking the number of blobs because he can’t count! We passed a beautiful red and white toadstool (A “Fly agaric”) almost large enough for the gnomic Lemming to sit on but he was too intent on covering as many unsuspecting victims with mud as the trail wound backwards and forwards through the trees. One check prove particularly effective as first Lonely called false from what turned out eventually to be the right way, Spot and Iceman didn’t call another false at all as they were watering the undergrowth and Foggy knowingly lured more mugs down another false just for fun!


We came out to a check on a road and a devious loop back almost to the check was only spotted by Motox. Slowsucker met him coming the other way! He and Motox now set the pace down a long bridleway to a small village green and then back into the woods to the Short/Long split. At this point we were quite spread out and this was quite fortunate as Motox and your scribe were nearly totalled by four galloping horses on a blind bend. Nils our guest from Sweden now joined us as we leapfrogged over the recently felled trees and it was he who found the way after the first check for ages slowed our progress. Wally, late again, kept appearing and disappearing at this stage and BGB also put in a belated appearance as well.


Another loop returned us to familiar territory and the grinning Simon now directed us down a long muddy track with barely a check. The trail now climbed to the top of a hill where an incredible house with a turret like a castle was guarded by two large dogs. Wally was seen off by the hounds and lost again! We now crossed a road again into a spectacular up and down section across a leaf strewn forest floor. A concealed track led down to the main road and then to Linda’s house for the Regroup and beerstop. Lemming surprise, surprise found a hosepipe and proceeded to drench anyone foolish enough to get in his way. C5 seemed to enjoy the shower(As a Fulham fan he watches one every week!)



We now returned to the wood and eventually back to Hermitage. As it was now 12.45 it was not unreasonable to expect to return to the pub however Dunny had other ideas and even though we were only 200 yards from home we were directed on a final loop (One we’d done the other way round when running from Curridge!) It was all going so well until the Bar 11(Ha Ha) that the girls had so carefully laid had been rubbed out to the general confusion of all! The sensible hashers (Shitshoveller for one) just followed the line of back gardens till they picked the trail up and on inned down the hill. They were followed some minutes later by the less astute who wandered aimlessly until swept up by hare Simon!


A tortuous trail that certainly built up a thirst!!!!!


CYCLE RIDE THE 2nd OF OCTOBER


Starts at 4 pm Any type of bicycle is suitable for this gentle paced ride. The duration will be approximately 2 hours on road and river path. Meet at Caversham Bridge(On the top)


Then on to the Baron Cadogan in Caversham for food and drink if required.


For more detail contact Motox or 0118 9583887




Down Downs

RA C5 announced the following awards;


Spot

Leaving face cream in a lady’s loo after the High Wycombe Hash

Not bad

Florence

C5 promised to give her one after being Hare last week!

On her bike!

Linda Green

Christened “Soreskin” as she had sore skin and needed Motox to rub soothing balm into it!

Not a good effort!

Motox

“Forgetful” for not bringing Florence’s sandwiches! He’d actually eaten them!

Good pint!

Foggy

Calling a false false. The sinner!

Sopped up by the beard!

Simon/Linda Green/Dunny

The Hares

Rubbish!



On On to;

RUN NO.

DATE

GRID REF.

VENUE/PUB DETAILS

HARES

1402

03/10/04

599806

The Catherine Wheel, Goring

Park in public car park by the pub

Squirrel/Jenks /Kitten

1403

10/10/04

706835

The Lamb, Satwell

Park on road adjacent to pub

Slowsucker/Matt