Run Number:1405 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: The Bladebone, Chapel Row

Hares: Foghorn, Chopstix

The Mudlarks

Spot, Motox, Florence, Matt, Slowsucker, Lonely, BGB, Hitch-hiker, Shutupwally, Cheating, Hashgate, Cloggs, Non-stick, Hamlet, Honeymonster, C5, Baldrick, Dumper, Tinopener, Miranda and Emma, Simon, Dunny, Dutchcap, Doughnut, Lemming, Mother, Potty, Spex, Phil, Jon, Flash, Robin, Lyn and Jason

Better late than never!

Late again and by nearly 15 minutes this week! Matt and I set out to chase the Hash more in hope than expectation but several clear arrows and kicked through checks meant that within 10 minutes we were up with the walkers and soon the pack. Foggy and Chopstix had done an excellent job of marking the trail and as Lonely, Florence, Cloggs and Non-Stick to name but a few, pride themselves on arriving later and later and in my case very late, this is becoming an important feature of laying the flour! BGB is another who appears halfway through the run most weeks but then he rarely follows flour anyway so it is perhaps of less import to him.

What was obvious was that the God of Shiggy had smiled on our Hares, as every path was very muddy or flooded. Catching up only meant running the gauntlet of Lemming who stood guard in the middle of the path adjacent to a huge puddle and clearly had already claimed several victims. As if there wasn’t enough mud already Foggy moved us “off piste” so to speak into a marsh where we squelched resolutely through the shoe sucking goo for several hundred yards. The FRBs could be heard calling in the distance and after a bit more splashing and crossing a road we all met up. I was greeted by a drenching from Hashgate as wrongly believing him to be one of the more cerebral of the Hash I paused to exchange pleasantries with him. Not only does he look like Terry Thomas but he behaves like him as well. What a bounder!

C5, Motox, Spot and Hamlet milled around a complex junction of footpaths and tracks but it was Lonely off on his own being lonely I suppose who traced the correct route down a narrow footpath paralleling a wider track. Slowsucker signalled the false down this and joined Lonely as the trail crossed another road. Glancing right Cheating could be seen toiling his lone path towards us down the tarmac (Why?) The next check grouped us together again but eventually we were called on to the left. Simon invited Hashgate and myself to go down an inviting looking footpath to the right. I foolishly declined and chose to follow Motox and Cheating who were disappearing up the hill in the distance to no avail and with barely a call! We now slogged up the aforementioned path and a clever checked missed by most hair pinned us back over a stile and into a field of bulls where Dumper appeared and also Lonely from across the adjacent field. He then approached the bulls with his arms outstretched like some latter day preacher. This needless to say scared the s**t out them even more than the lumbering Dumper had! A very muddy field uphill to another style led us to the next check where we were re-united with the short trailers

We were now one blob and on, something that he hares had failed to mention. We raced back into the woods, with regular checks and the odd bar, briefly halting our progress. Only Lonely and Matt negotiated one particularly steep hill climb as the heavier and slower of the group all took the easier and less steep option. We met Florence coming in the opposite direction (Not easy that!) though she was later persuaded of the daftness of this(we were three quarters of the way round already!) It was getting competitive at the front with Spot, Cheating (In bursts) Matt and particularly Lonely all vying for the lead on a long and very muddy downhill path. Lonely has recently got custody of Beaver back from an extended holiday in Jersey and either the extra training up and down the Thames towpath (I’ve seen you!) is kicking in or being reunited with his companion has made him especially frisky (Please note Motox…Severe handicapping for next year’s Fun Run!)

The sting in the tail was an extremely evil muddy hill back up to the road which sorted out the men from the boys! In this case the boy (Matt) creamed the man (Lonely) on the ON INN. I managed just to keep hem in sight as the pace quickened.

The pack drifted back in a variety of bedraggled states – Hamlet returned having clearly been “Lemminged” with mud all over the back of his neck, Doughnut had argued with the brambles and was scratched and bleeding but refused my offer of a rub down with a damp T-Shirt ( I as going to take it off first, honestly!), Wally accosted anyone who would listen about what a good hasher the “rat” is. Mrs Wally must be in seventh heaven on a Sunday morning not having all that yapping going on and the dog gets a walk as well.

All seemed to have enjoyed the mud with the exception of Cheating who was chuntering on about the good old days and now there being too much running involved. We won’t be seeing him then on the 14^th when Anorak puts us through our paces!!

Finally a big thank you to C5 and especially C4 for entertaining us on Friday’s Moonlight hash at their newly refurbished country retreat. A good run and great food and company.

Down Downs

RA Dumper announced the following awards;

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