Run Number:1406 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: Greenacres, Pyle Hill

Hares: Potty, Nutty, Gussett

Ghosties and Ghoulies

Spot, Motox, Florence, Matt, Slowsucker, BGB, Hitch-hiker, Honeymonster, Baldrick, Tinopener, Miranda and Emma, Simon, Dunny, Dutchcap, Doughnut, Lemming, Mother, Spex, Phil, Flash, Soreskin, John, Shirley, Iceman, Puppypenis, Loud and Tasteless, Dwight and babies, Centaur, Posh, Bomber, Caboose, Pete, Robert, Mac, Pissquick, Glittertits, Clem and Mike from Bristol

Trick or Treat

Halloween proved the excuse for BH3 to indulge their favourite pastime of dressing up. By their usual standards it was all quite restrained not so much “Rocky Horror” just plain “Horror” with Baldrick deserving a special mention as his Dracula was almost realistic. His companion on the run was a terrifying witch so convincing I still have no idea who it was!

Iceman seemed to have rather missed the point as he had assumed the guise of “Captain Y-Fronts” that well known superhero! Our erstwhile computer buff obviously felt the need to digitally enhance “down there” and had stuffed the aforementioned undergarment with what appeared to be a pound of sprouts to give a rather lumpy and unimpressive protuberance…More Goolie than ghostie!

Matt and I arrived just as everyone was setting out so there was a certain amount of catching up to do but we were kept company by BGB, Motox and the long striding(suffering?) Loud and Tasteless. He had made a huge effort, and was wearing a really scary blue fleece. Motox, who was already chuntering about the tarmac, was sporting a particularly fetching mask. It’s unnatural pallor contrasting with his usual more bucolic complexion. We set off towards the shopping center on the outskirts of Newbury where an early check had sent most of the pack into a small estate. As Potty called “On back” Matt and I found ourselves in the lead as the trail led down towards the A34. At the bridge over the road, a 2-way check was kicked out by Puppypenis as we headed inevitably towards Newbury town centre. The pack already strung out meandered along discussing this and that and admiring each other’s outfits. The few members of the public out and about seemed quite unimpressed by the coven of witches in trainers jogging through their streets but this may be quite normal for a Sunday morning in West Berkshire.

We now turned along The Kennet and Avon canal where Lemming aping the mythical god Janus was also wearing his mask on the back of his head. Believe me the front was much scarier! The short trailers now crossed the canal and passed into the industrial wastelands beyond vaguely being misdirected by me until we met the long-trailers coming in the other direction led by Glittertits and Centaur who appears to be pregnant. I knew we were going the wrong way!!!

We now passed through Newbury racecourse and into yet anther housing estate. Soreskin now tried to do some early trick and treating with no success. A long hill disappeared into the distance as we put the world to rights; BGB and Doughnut discussed how best to keep their witches hat on, we contemplated where to find the ideal man for the single girls in the Hash. I was quite interested in this as it appears this dream man will have had to have been either kept in stasis untouched by the wiles of other women, or created out of a test tube… Just add water and instant lover and no mother in law either! (It strikes me that homosexuality is a much more straightforward way of finding new partners!) We questioned Pissquick about true love (Now that is strange!) and all the time Spex mumbled on to no one in particular. The top of the hill came and went and the ON INN appeared. We crossed the road and we were back. The frontrunners claimed to have done the trail in 45 minutes. So what was the “trick” then? To find some grass? And the “treat”……? Well it certainly wasn’t the beer apparently. After the relaxation of our tour of Newbury I needed thrills, action, excitement and giving Matt a driving lesson on the way home was just the answer! More tarmac!

FIREWORK FRENZY IN BURGHFIELD

Thank you to Pissquick and Glittertits for their hospitality, fireworks, food and fun on Friday night as November the 5^th was celebrated with a bang not a whimper. I am not unconvinced that GT would not have been too upset to see the house burn down as he has set himself a daunting task of modernization and extending! I did not stay for Down downs last Sunday so have decided to give my awards for Friday’s extravaganza;

Simon Winner of the ridiculous hat competition!

Soreskin Dressing like an extra in Dr Zhivago!

Dutchcap A warning to us all of the dangers of drink!

Doughnut Pretty in pink!

Spex Bats in the Belfrey!

Dumper Most gratuitous use of a sparkler…

On On to;