Run Number:

1381 14/11/04

Visit the website – www.berkshirehash.co.uk
Website Email – iceman@bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Venue:

The White Hart, Charter Alley

Hares:

Aquapuddles, Spendriftt
Harriettes

Pissquick Spotless HitchHiker Lynda(Sorearse)Lou(Dunny) BGB Cheating Florence Spex, Dutch Cap, Dunkin

Donut,Posh,Miranda, Emma, Cheryl(Handful), Kim(Virgin), Chopsticks(late on parade), Baldrick(walking wounded)

Hangers ON ON

Yankit Glittertits, Iceman, C5, Wally, Old Fart, , XX, Florence, Foghorn, Cabin Boy Marsaday , Bomber, Jon, Stuart(Cretin)

Tinopener, Russ, Hamlet, Hash Flash – social member



Wally Critique(WC) – wriiten under Pseudonym of Sue Real

It was one of those days when I had planned to sabotage the R2D2 trail as it was in our area at The Ship – Ashford Hill having

received notification from the ubiquitous PnD but finding nobody there had learnt they run Saturday!!

Then to find that I was not supporting our own Anorak but some pecuniary character from Rumanian Rhubarb Dastardly Deviants who had been first allowed by Double Cross to eclipse our 1400th run celebrations and then C5 has compounded it by bringing in his pals from alien areas to try and meet BH3 standards for trail laying!

To be greeted by the comment “that it is a lot shorter than I intended” from Spendnought was too much for Double Cross as we are known for our Berkshire mile = 3 North Hants Miles.

But this was just the start.

2 minutes silenced observed by our Spex for all fallen heroes and then we were off on to tarmac. Bomber found the route followed by NY2 John and Old Fart and we started on the basic Centurion training programme. As we progressed down the grey brick road, Motorox said it was a disgrace and Reading Roadrunners should have been invited. As we trekked round 3 sides of concrete the lone hare (Aquapuddles had decided to have no party with this trail and we never saw her again until the pub) took a cross country route!!??

We eventually entered some woods with Foggie and XX struggling today and virgin Kim keeping abreast of Cheryl. Checks were placed in the middle of paths meaning even though we had no FRBs like Hashgate available, it was easy to guess where to go. After the 3rd stretch of tarmac XX was seething. Jazzooks marginal relief when we hapst upon a new route down a levelled lane(only with gravel but obviously being prepared for tarmaccing!) A shout of chariots was heard as motorised vehicles were seen(must be a time warp!) Then a little off road [path for a hundred yards humoured the hounds) Baldrick was boring the virgin and she could not escape as she was suffering her first wind! Chopsticks had blundered her way forward and was knocking all and sundry(should that be Sunday?- Ed) – no we were blessed with good weather.

Poor Cheryl was suffering by tripping on the tarmac unfamiliar with non hashing trails. As we hit urban areas, there was quite a coop because a number of chicken runs joined us. But when I mentioned the fact to Spotless that I wouldn’t want to wring necks he started clucking that he would volunteer!? Cretin was spotted trying to squeeze through a stie but being spotted by Tinopener he admitted that style was not his middle name. The Roman Cavalry then appeared and were pleased that we smiled at them as normally they encounter Reading Roadrunners who glare and I had to explain that we were hashers not joggers. Some excellent shiggy then hove into view and I went straight down2 the middle. PQ followed only to be rescued by Chopsticks and Donut as she got stuck! Coming to a kissing gate about 30 seconds ahead of the pack, I waited 10 minutes to fulfill my mission but nobody came – I then saw the harriettes were hiding in the bushes – shame on them. I called “looking” only to be followed by the whole hash who roused the hidden grouse and backtracked whilst I cheating like cut through some palatial private grounds and ended up ahead. Soon we were back on the beloved hard core and following the ON IN home. Hamlet remarked that it was a run not a hash and Motorox nodding vigorously says it all, Even the lovely Natasha Gorblinksky of Strictly Come Hashing gave it a Rebel Rouser score of 4 out of 10.The Hair raiser has been told it must never happen again and rules of engagement for all are attached for serious study.


Afters

Carolyn(Miranda) told the whole pub that she had never seen such a tiny little thing – Tinopener claimed she said this on their honeymoon night but alas there are no independent witnesses. Many souls were propositioned for the Hitchikers guide to the Cinema but as she wouldn’t sit in the back row with yours truly because Spotless would be jealous I had to decline – however there were many takers!? Whitebait which I acquired for Baldrick was followed by Kim’s Treacle Tart which sadly was creamless.


Down Downs - Glittertits convened the ceremony


Name

Reason

Style points



Kim

Virgin – Spex wanted to know whether it was hard enough, long enough and would she come agian. 

Glittertits could not say whether she would come again – bad judge of character



PissQuick, Chopsticks


Beaten by a straw



C5

Stealng keys – careless person

Needs to qualify hares and check trails out



Bomber, Posh TT3

New York Marathon runners

They should stick to running – we were all impressed with their negative splits!



Cheryl

Loud and Armless

For tripping on the flat - STUMBLER

Poor treatment of the Bitches

Russ was her champion – not sure about the lemonade – was it Whites?

They have complained to the RSPCA



Spent/Aquapuddles

Up and Coming

The Hares

Stick to drinking not trails


Run Number

Date

Grid Reference

Venue

Hares

1410

28th November

666841

Black Horse, Checkendon

Spotless, C5
Bitches have changed it – December 5th – Crooked Billet – Honeyhill

See Double Cross re New Year’s Eve bash – not sure of date – half price to members visitors pay double


SINK OR RUN?

EVERY HOME SHOULD HAVE ONE – YOU SHOULD SEE MINE!