White Hearties

Aqua Anorak2 Baldrick Spot Non-stick Cloggs Doughnut Septic Dumper Iceman BGB Motox Florence Zebedee Dutchcap C5 Slackbladder Foghorn GT PQ Miranda Tinopener Nutty Potty Posh Wally Cabin Buoy Little Stiffy Quack Ruth Spex Loud ‘n Tasteless and guest appearance by Gusset in pub

Bars, baa’s and bahs

In the absence of our revered GM (some excuse about a hold-up on the motorway – Dick Turpin perhaps??) the usual prompt 11o’clock start was relaxed to allow other late-comers to swell our numbers. Having arrived on foot, Zebedee and I were actually on time and so to celebrate this momentous occasion we broke out the coffee and sandwiches and put our feet up. I was in such a good mood that when Dumper asked for someone to do the gob sheet and everyone wisely remained tight-lipped and looked at their feet, I volunteered. What a mistake! Once the tardy pair Cloggs and Non-stick arrived we knew it must be late enough so we set off.

Now we all know that the No 1 rule of hashing is that there are no rules. But try telling that to Motox!. Early on (I was in front!!) we followed an arrow up a long alleyway only to find what looked like a bar-7 at the end. It was difficult to decipher so Iceman and the other FRBs thought it best to wait and ask the opinion of most of the rest of the pack including Motox.”Bah humbug!” he said running over the check and off into the distance refusing to return. He caught up with us at the re-group still muttering on. Bar-checks with numbers on and arrows leading to them are very grave sins in Motox’s eyes and he berated the transgressor Shitshoveller accordingly. To add insult to injury there were 2 further bar-10s!

The rest of us were quite happy. We just wanted to keep moving to prevent the onset of hypothermia. Slackbladder unhampered by his (old) dog was going well. Zebedee scurried about glad that he had Sean, the hash sheep for a muff (?!) to keep his hands warm. When asked about the lack of “baa’ing” he admitted to being unable to turn the sheep on (a common problem amongst hashers) but was delighted at the end when he found the “on(-on)” switch!!

Potty was missing his usual running companion, John. When I asked his whereabouts the wind took his answer and to me it sounded like “Away with the fairies” which I thought was quite reasonable but it turns out he’s actually away in the Canaries!

Talking of being away with the fairies, a while after the regroup we came across a bemused Flash out for a stroll in the woods with Dutch-cap amongst others. There was a check but they knew exactly where they were going which certainly wasn’t uphill where the trail went. Having seen the walkers and been told about the proximity of the car park I was lulled into thinking we didn’t have far to go. Wrong! Anorak2 who says he has good spatial awareness announced that the trail was star-shaped and we seemed to go to every point of that star! Shitshoveller’s eyes sparkled with delight as we chose the wrong direction at every check.

After what seemed to me like an astronomical amount of time we ran On-In across the playing fields to the car park where late-comers Spex and Loud’n Tasteless were just arriving back (or maybe just arriving!) too.

In the pub I put out a sheet for comments on the trail – here are some of the helpful offerings:

We should have more hares like Shitshoveller – No we shouldn’t

We still didn’t lose Wally!

Baldrick (safety officer) is a danger to himself and others. When running through the trees near the end of the trail he came very close to injuring Cloggs. He later admitted to having bad eyesight which explains a lot. The hash should give him a bell to warn others of his approach.

Big Girls Blouse is a poof!

Wonderful hash – especially as I won! Sean the sheep enjoyed the regular hand-swap and the return of his voice

Where’s my food?? I need it NOW!!

RA DUMPER presented the following Down Downs

Receding Hare-line

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							ON! ON!    FLO