Old Etonians (and some young ones)

Donut Hashgate Snowballs Dan Ruben Paella JWax Baldrick OldFart Pissquick Glittertits Gaffertits Honeymonster Motox Vertigo Shutupwally and rat Bonnie Nappyrash PP and dog Barney Itsyor Fiddler Cerberus Billy Bullshit Fannybag Bogbrush Zebedee Florence Helen BGB Shitfor Desperate Downunder Spot Hitchhiker C5 OldDog Twanky Slowsucker Foghorn Caboose Shitshoveller Penny Pitstop Slackbladder Little Stiffy Blowjob Bootsie Lonely Swallow Nick

Iceman – But No Ice!

It is with great sadness that I have to report that both Binbag and Mafia passed away recently. We shall not forget them. Every Hasher has a unique personality and these two ladies certainly had theirs, enyoying the fun and laughter we have Hashing and providing their own contributions to our group. Let’s be happy that they were, and will remain, part of BH³. Our thoughts go out to their relatives and friends, especially Nutcracker and Potty.

Before I get into today’s Hash I must briefly mention the Christmas Day Hash and the New Year’s Day Hash. The former was hosted superbly by Anorak and Trainspotter in their cosy railside cottage and we had a delightful run (after we had worn off the effects of the prelube port) followed by an excellent barbeque. New Year’s day was at the Calleva Arms. Freezing bloody cold it was. And hungover some of us were. But the pub had no less than six Sides of Morris Men, hot chocolate and mulled wine and Glittertits and Pissquick had become grandparents at 3 o’clock that very morning! Speaking of Glittertits I really must mention his (failed) attempt to cross a glacial stream. Spying a lone tree that was leaning towards him he took a mighty step and placed one foot on the small root that stood out of the water, leaving the other on the bank. We gathered to watch while he gathered himself to place the left-behind foot next to its brother. This necessitated him grabbing the tree in a bear hug while leaning backwards. Our interest quickened. Eyes began to widen at the delicious prospect. He didn’t disappoint. The tree had woody ivy stems climbing up it and he had grasped them desperately for support. The ivy took umbrage at GT’s unsolicited groping and parted. Almost in slow motion, it seemed, the GT body slid backwards into the icy depths initiating our excited band into a discussion on whether he was ‘wetting the baby’s head’ or performing a (not quite so) dry run for the baptism. Whichever it was we had never seen our RA move so quickly. One minute total immersion, the next, eye-popping, gasping exposure on the bank like a giant ginger fish. I am sorry to say we all laughed like drains but it certainly cleared my hangover – and GT’s too!

The weather on Sunday proved a treat for us all. After Saturday’s abysmal sub-zero temperatures, ice, hoar frost and occasional driving snow the day was bright and clear and nowhere near as damn cold. I felt deeply for the Bashers on Saturday. Particularly since their Trail was quite close to my house. In the morning I pulled the warm, snuggly duvet tightly round me and quaffed deeply on my steaming mug of hot tea while thinking about them. And I thought, snuggled and quaffed even more when I realised that the Moonlight Hash was to be held on Saturday night – and I was unable to attend either. Ho hum. My loss.☺

This Hash saw the return of Paella, who we have not seen for far too long, and quite a mass of Hashers who were determined to make the most of this sunny Sunday. We were in for a treat. Not only was the Trail not too long (Iceman was a bit under the weather) but the pub was friendly and welcoming and provided masses of onion bhajees, somosas, chicken nuggets, cheese bits and biscuits all for just 50p which went into a draw won by Little Stiffy. Though the Trail involved some rather long, fast runs there were enough Checks and False Trails to confuse the FRBs and short cuts to let the more leisurely Hashers catch up. Apparently, the Trail ran over some areas where there is or used to be a running race. Or so I heard from Nappyrash and Desperate who were maundering on about ‘when we use to race in our younger days’. Apparently, the spur for the faster racers was the sandwiches and cakes provided at the end. The winners got to scoff more. I can certainly see that both of them used to do rather well…

OldFart and Fiddler seemed to do particularly well today, with Itsyor thoroughly enjoying his trot through the tussocks. Though, due to the extensive False Trails they often found themselves at the back of the Pack. His Eminence Slowsucker seems also to have sipped from the fountain of youth recently since he was powering along the trails like a carthorse on steroids. However, I think Cerberus and I got the luckiest break of the day. Finding ourselves beneath a bridge, decorated with lovingly applied graffitti we (rather stupidly, we thought) nipped up the concrete steps and on to a dual carriageway filled with roaring cars driven by motorists who looked like they were straight out of Mad magazine. “Surely it can’t go this way.” We thought, as the rest of the Pack searched around in the green serenity below us. But our grimaces of concern were replaced by grins of delight as we found the fourth blob and turned into some more concrete steps leading down from deathrace 2009 and, blow me down if it wasn’t Motox sitting on the fourth step with one shoe off, scratching a scaly ankle in a contemplative kind of way. Actually, it wasn’t. It was an old tramp who had just come down to get out of the wind. We offered him a cheery ‘Hello’ to which I am happy to report he replied, with a somewhat dentally challenged grin. But at least he responded positively, so nice one and we wish you well matey. When we got below the bridge who should be lurking there but Donut, Swallow and Iceman! How’d dey do dat?

The rest of the Trail was a rapid run through snickets, cuts, alleys, fields, by viaducts and allotments and finally a shortish bit of tarmac with the Pack more or less all together and gasping for a beer. Well done to our Hares for laying a really enjoyable Trail and laying on an even more enjoyable pub! Well done chaps.

p.s. Billy Bullshit has a bad back at the moment and is like a bear with a sore head so do feel free to take the p**s out of him as much as you like.

On On. Hashgate.

Down Downs

RA Glittertits presented the following :-

Spot came first…

Up and Coming