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The Carpenters Arms, Burghclere


Shandyman and Chopstix -
Joint run with R2D2


Iceman Simple Skids Septic Slackbladder Little Stiffy Butterfly Dribbler Swallow Ms Whiplash Flash Nick Rainbow Warrior Snowballs Foghorn Gaffertits Slowsucker Cheating CabinBuoy Lilo and dog Emma Tinopener Mother Theresa Lemming Spot Florence Zebedee Motox Hitchhiker Spot Shit Shoveller Penny Pitstop Nutty Potty C5 Dumper Vertigo BGB Helen Salome Bootsie Lonely Old Fart Dunny Rampant Rabbit Messenger Boy Gnome Alone Pure Fantasy & dog Poppy Lorna Spex Loud'n Tasteless Polly Ladyshave Redcock Brazilian Babe Miss Direction Strads Pearl & Dean Houdini Soxmaniac Portia Careless (apologies if I have left out anyone who was there or included those who were absent)

The Bard

Robbie Burns (1759 - 1796) lived a short life of 37 years but was acclaimed as the natonal poet of Scotland. This year we celebrate the 250th anniversary of his birth.

He was a prolific writer of romantic poems and folk songs however, his writings also covered political and philosophical themes some of which are relevant to this day.

He wrote in the scots language but also in the scottish english dialect. He earned his living as a farmer and initially wrote poetry as a sideline. He had little regular schooling and was mainly taught by his father. In later life he was known for his flirtatous tendencies and apparently had many love affairs !

He was a freemason and well known to many lodges.

To-day even those who know nothing of his literary talents know something of the Bard. There are many quotes in common use, 'My love is like a red, red, rose' and the like, he is featured on postage stamps and bank notes, Auld Lang Syne is our New Years eve anthem and Burns Night suppers are held all over the world.

His poems are long, complicated and imbued with a love of life. He would have made a great hasher!

The Gathering

It was an eclectic collection of eccentrics that gathered to honour the said Robbie Burns. The sight of those ginger wigs, checked skirts/kilts and general hoch potch of tartan items would be enough to make the great bard turn in his grave. Nevertheless a few efforts deserve mention. C5 was resplendent in tartan trews that would have Rupert Bear drooling, Dumper had managed to find a tartan skirt and had shown considerable innovation in splitting it down the back in order to make it fit, Mother was wearing socks that would not have looked out of place in a scottish sword dance, Lemming meanwhile had donned checked tights that brought tears to the eyes. Pure Fantasy and Lorna looked particularly becoming in ginger hair pieces, Lorna was also able to bring to the proceedings an impressive scottish accent. (possibly the only genuine aspect of the day). The prize (if there was one) must, however, go to Gnome Alone who had painted a tartan configuration on his face. Very attractive, maybe he should try this more often!

The Trail

After an unusually short introduction from Slowsucker the Hares took control. I feel I should at this point say something about the prowess of these hares.

These are no ordinary beings, for a start they are R2D2 hashers, and one a welshman to boot! I happen to know that most of this trail was laid on the day of the R2D2 Burns Night celebrations. We know from previous years that the R2D2 Burns Night requires stamina, first for a run of at least six miles, followed by an evening of merrymaking, haggis toasting and general bawdiness. I can report that these two super heroes did full justice to it all and were going strong until around 2.30 am but still arose from their bed in time to set us off on what turned out to be a mystery tour of Burghclere!

Well I have to confess, it was a mystery to me! In fact I have little to say about the trail as it all passed in a bit of a blur! I too joined in the Burns Night revelry but, alas, I lack the stamina and was experiencing a sense of 'other worldliness" for most of the run. I do remember a cunning trail that took us across some verdant pastures, clambering over wood strewn copses, and wading through large areas of shiggy. ( I was very appreciative of my water proof socks) I was also appreciative of the fact that Lemming appeared in gentle mood and was not his usual mud slinging self. Must have been on account of those tights! For most of it I was way behind the pack and so missed any little nuances that might have made for a more interesting write up!

There was at least one regroup which allowed me to catch up, thanks everyone for waiting for me! So well done the hares for a smashing trail and well done you FRB's for going that extra mile, for marking the checks and for just being there when it mattered!.

I will finish with a short quotation from the great bard which has absolutely no relevevance whatsoever to the aforesaid gibberish "The best laid plans of mice and men go often askew and leaves nothing but grief and pain for promised joy.........."........................................................on second thoughts it sounds much like the average hash!

On ..On..Spex.

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-



Style points


Religious devotion

Reverently accomplished


Wearing a Perth (Aussie) T Shirt on the pretext that it was scottish

no confusion here


Birthday girl

a repeat performance

Ms Whiplash

Birthday Girl

slipped down a treat

Gnome Alone

Wearing a tartan face

like a prizewinner


Being the only good looking male from the R2D2 Hash

pleased as punch


Telling a terrible joke

nothing new there

Shandyman and Chopstix

Today’s Hares

Well deserved 'hair of the dog'

Up and Coming



Grid Reference






The Duke of Wellington
Twyford RG10 9AG
* Help celebrate desperate’s ‘special’ birthday *





* The Red Dress Run *
The Boathouse
Wallingford OX10 0BJ

Poison Ivy