Drowned Rats

Old Fart, Itsyor BillyBullshit Cerburus Desperate Shitfor Iceman Zebedee Florence C5 Cheating Messenger Boy and dog Lucy Handful NappyRash PP and dog Barney Motox BGB Foghorn Old Dog Septic Duper Snowballs Caboose Fannybag Bogbrush Ms Whiplash Chopstix Shandyman Dribbler Hitchhiker Scarlet Pimpernel Loudntasteless Max Mr Blobby Flash Hartly

Over the Rainbow

On arrival at the hash we joined in the huddle under any shelter possible to get out of the deluge when Nappy Rash came upon a good idea – wii hashing. We could stay in the dry and play it together in a warm pub. Normal hash rules would apply including getting down downs for such things as – getting lost (see below) stupidity (see below) and crashing into trees (see below). We could have a computerised Billy who would start the hash with everyone else then disappear at the first check and somehow still get back to the put before anyone else without being seen during the entire hash. The thing with computers is you don't get things like this on them....

Fair play to the hares who laid the trail in terrible conditions, (so bad that apparently we had a tornado in Caversham on Saturday night) so we didn't complain about the lack of falses, re-groups or the fact that we ended up about 50 yards from the pub after 10 minutes. Unfortunately we were directed away from the pub and over a bar that Hamlet had laid, decided to rubout, but forgot too, thus causing havoc. What mean hares would play tricks like that.

We did get a bit of everything on this hash, rain by the bucketload and sunshine eventually. We had a perfectly formed rainbow although Flo insisted the one she saw on the way to the hash was better. We ran past a beautiful house surrounded by a perfectly cleaned and manicured moat (I thought perhaps it belonged to a local MP but it turns out it is owned by a Royal autobiographer.

We had a mixture of wildlife starting with horses, followed by Llamas, ducks, chickens and a cats cradle. Desperate and Messenger Boy were making and exchanging cats cradles made out of Lucy' lead as they hashed along a track full of shiggy. This was just after Desperate had been living up to her name again, this time she attempted to mug a young lad who was walking up the lane with a bouquet of roses, destined for the love of his life, or his dear old mum, when Desperate attacked him under the disguise of trying to explain to the poor lad what hashing was all about whilst attempting to grap the roses. Shitfor buy the poor girl some flowers occasionally.

Coming out of the yard where the Llama farm was we were greeted with a long lane. Hashers to the left of me, hashers to the right – here I was stuck in the middle of them, with no one knowing which way to go. Flash had insisted that he had run 500 yards to the left with no sight of flour, he insisted so much that it provoked a karaoke version of “I will run 500 yards, and I will run 500 more just to see a hare who laid a blob of flour upon the sodden floor – etc” The Proclaimers did it better than C5, come to think of it so did Peter Kaye. As it was flash had run 500 yards straight past a check neatly placed by a style.

During a brief restbite from the rain we found our way through a wood where a few hashers had gathered at a check. After a few seconds a dim light bulb glowed over Shitfor's head as he suddenly realised that we were following the on out course, so back along the track we went, back to the footpath at the edge of the woods where a grinning Fukawe stood enjoying every hashers moan. Luckily we only had to go up another path, following the on out in reverse before finding a sneaky on inn exactly where the bar was on the first lap of the hash. We had a quick sprint back to the car as the heavens opened once more.

Thanks hares for a good hash in difficult conditions.

On On. P***s Puller and dog Barney

Down Downs

Unusually RA C5 presented the following in the pubs “snug” such as we all were, gathered together out of the rain :-

Up and Coming

1674 20/12/09 727650 Swallowfield Village Hall RG7 1QX Spex & Les Girls

Listen Up... This is VERY important Christmas Lunch Day See Motox for tickets £10 going fast!!!

And finally..... Christmas Lights Walk 2009

A splendid walk around Reading, lots of bright sparkling lights, those not wearing dark glasses had eye problems, but all O.K. Now. We had a free Champagne and chocolates stop en route, at a fashion shop where modes posed in the latest ladies dresses for us, (pity Zeb and C5 missed it). All the Harriets were given a designer bag packed with goodies. Mrs Blobby must have had an inkling there would be some special planned, as she wore her very posh Kashmir coat, she looked like Lady and the Hashers! On then to the pub for fine food and drink where Dumper tried to get a large Cod, but it got away!. Don't miss next year's event.

On On Motox.