The Hashers

Baldrick, BGB, Bogbrush, Butterfly, C5, Cheating, Chopstix, Dribbler, Dumper, Dunny, Fannybag, Flash, Flo, Fullfrontal, GT, Gnomealone, Iceman, LittleStiffy, Lonely, Messengerboy, Miss Whiplash, Motorcross, Mr Blobby, Mrs Blobby, Nutty, Old Dog, Pennypitstop, PQ, Poca, Potty, Rampantrabbit, Shandyman, Shitshoveller, Simple, Skidds, Slackbladder, Slowsucker, Snowie, Spot, Twanky, Zeb, Dwight, Effin, Jwax, Ben & Tim Ralph, Lunchbox, Tania Whitby, Martina Landhed, Wendy Dallimore, Sue & Dave Friend, Liz & Leo McAlister, Bob Sutherland. Hares Lilo & Tinopener

Pigs in Blankets or rather what Old Hashers do on a Sunday Morning….

What can I say? The Sty was the limit! We all huddled together for warmth in a very windy car park on what could only be described as a Spring-like morning. The Sun shone, the birds sang and ‘luv’ was in the air… but more of that later….

Things were going well, the GM didn’t have a half hour speech on the obscure history of Pig Farming and it wasn’t snowing…. Until that is the Hares told us that because their trail was to be through 4ft snow drifts they had used cunningly coloured chocolate flavoured flour…… sadly as we scanned the horizon we realised that last night’s rain and rising temperatures meant the fields were now nicely cleared of melting snow and ice… chances of us finding the brown blobs were zero! Hi Ho.. On On into breach!

After a cunning false Cheating managed to beat the walkers up the hill and over the stile into the veritable vista of Britain’s finest porkers. No not the BH3 walkers, all rotund and wobbling post-Christmas Binge but some of Wantage’s finest Oinkers! Now you may wonder why I am dwelling on these four legged trotters but they did cause much concern and mirth. Like I said, Spring was in the air and there was a graphic scene of ‘making bacon’ which caused Potty to stumble and gasp. While most of us walkers scratched our heads as we tried to remember what ‘that was all about’, Potty was shouting over some helpful tips….. ‘Stand a bit closer’…..’Hold on tighter’…Baldrick was also heard shouting for Jaywax…I think she was coming….??? With her camera of course!

Anyway, moving swiftly on we found ourselves, bringing up the rear, as it were, only to watch Max disappearing off in completely the wrong direction… Oh well this is what happens when aged politicians are not for doing ‘U’ turns. The rest of the hash was a bit of a blur, the main pack of walkers blazed a trail up hill and down dale and through dark boggy forests. No idea where the trail went, neither did the hare, so we just followed Gnasher.

There was a re-group and for a short time the whole pack was re-united but it soon dispersed into a right shambles. A throng burst off at a check, confident that the strategic arrow for the walkers couldn’t possibly be part of the ‘real’ trail… only to have to plod back rather sheepishly… what a brilliant double bluff Hares! And what happened twixt then and the end, who knows? We (the FRB walkers) were overtaken by Virgin Liz, Rampant and SS and it was a good 20 minutes before the rest of the pack caught up…who, where and what happened is anybody’s guess.

Back down the hill to the pub. Warm, intimate and full of bottles (not just behind the counter). Much hummmming and haahhhing trying to work out how they got the Champagne cork, wire and wrapper back in one piece onto an empty bottle…. Must be a message in there somewhere! 

So, not many checks, not much flour, the odd pile of snow, lots of slipping and sliding and hours of sunshine. A lovely energetic stroll with a slightly adult themed exhibition of what Pigs do/Hashers used to do on a Sunday morning! (Ok, so lots of people (RA) made lots of comments about the general age/fitness/level of decrepitude that the ageing BH3 reprobates have – I am sure the ‘young’ amongst us still enjoy Sunday morning pleasures 24/7!!)

On On. Hashgate’s nom de plume Woof Woof!.

BREAKING NEWS…. BREAKING NEWS…. BREAKING NEWS…

Remember Shaun the Sheep, remember the Cross, remember that Umbrella? Well, we’ve seen it all now, there is a new ‘forfeit’ for misdemeanours, you have been warned! Do something stupid (or at least get caught) and you will end up feeling a right tit… literally! Yes thanks to ‘Jordan’ we have been donated a rather voluptuous ‘implant’ to be carried around as reward for coming to the attention of the RA – Baldrick is this week’s winner. (Watch this space for the usual school boy humour that will no doubt ensue for the forthcoming duration until someone loses it….. doesn’t want to part with it!!  I’m still waiting to see whose hands are big enough to hold it…. 

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-

Speed and experience both count!!

Up and Coming – please check the web-pages just in case I have got this wrong…..