The Hashers

Baldrick, BGB, Billy Bullshit, Bog Brush, Bomber, C5, Cabin Buoy, Centaur, Cerberus, Cheating, Desperate, Donut, Dunny, Effin, Fanny Bag, Flash, Foggy, Full Frontal, GT, Handful, Hitchhiker, Iceman, ItsYor, Jwax, Lemming, Lilo, Loud & Tasteless, Messenger Boy, Mother, Motocross,

Mr. Blobby,Mrs. Blobby, Mrs. Dwight (and the boys), Nappy Rash, Old Dog, Heavy Petting, Penny Pitstop, PQ, Posh, Potty, Rainbow Warrior, Jenks, Rampant Rabbit, Shandy Man, Shit Shoveller, Shitfor, Simple, Skids, Skinny Dipper, Slowsucker, Snowie, Spex, Swallow, Tarmac Cuddler, Tin Opener, Young Lemming, Whinge, Escort, Muff, Jess, Nicole & Josh Farmer.

What to do the morning after the night before…Wear Dark Glasses or just stay in bed?

Ken this, it was bra min! Skirling pipes, loons wi’ nay drawers and drink aplenty…Sorry, I was reminiscing about the Burn’s Night Supper and the convivial evening in good company with good food last night… but you weren’t there… so I’d better push on to the Run!

And what better way to blow away the cobwebs than to arrive a bit late, after the circle had started… as I turned the corner of the car park I was trampled by a steaming herd of hashers desperate to check it out…. Someone mentioned a beer stop and cake and, knowing that portion control wasn’t under the guiding auspices of Septic, all were determined to get to the beer stop before Motox!

It was a huge pack again this week. It’s amazing what a bit of sunshine can do isn’t it? And also the fact it was Miss Whiplash’s birthday and knowing her Mrs Beetons’ skills everyone was anticipating something tasty!!!

The walkers again were a sizeable bunch of the lame and the lazy but Salome was there, stick in hand ready to make sure we kept up the pace. Poor old Potty soon thought better of staying with the walkers after Effing threatened to use her ‘cattle prods’ to make sure he didn’t fall behind. It’s always a case of finding the right incentive to get people moving, don’t you find? Moving swiftly on we soon found a steady pace and Miss Whiplash was dashing back and forth making sure the slows, the short and the befuddled were paying attention. There was a minor dispute in the woods but we won’t go into that as we all emerged muddy, exhausted but not beaten, to pick up the trail again.

Rumour has it that there was also some ‘artistic’ trail running by Mr Blobby and Whinge who declared vehemently not to have run over a false but there was much raising eyebrows as they tore through woods and seemed to miraculously appear ahead of the group. But then it could be that they were just trying to keep out of Lemming’s way…. Yes, he’s back, he’s bad and he’s always at a puddle just when you don’t want to be there….Oh Mother, ye have the patience of a Saint!

Most people managed to find the beer stop which was being manned, or rather, personed by Zeb’s mum. Three cheers! Poor lady, there she was thinking Zeb was having a few chums round for tea and cake only to be faced with 60-odd sweating, smelly and gasping reprobates demanding beer/water/coffee/cake and anything that is going. She did a grand job and I don’t think anyone was left out… except poor old Flo! When all the cake had disappeared Zeb thought he’d supplement supplies with not only their best Shortie selection but also Flo’s Toblerone!!! I don’t want to think what sort of a tongue lashing he’s going to get tonight…. Oerr! *I think he managed to save one triangle for her – she gave up so much for so many, what a star Flo!

And then of course (and I can’t really say too much as we all know that power corrupts absolutely) but guess who was seen being driven in a TT by TT1 (aka Zeb)? Yep, the RA himself, claiming to be the walking wounded…. Did he jump or was he pushed??? Did he kick a tree in frustration at yet again being beaten to the check by Mr B or is it just old age beginning to bite back, his poor feet finally giving up the ghost and telling him that there comes a time, in every man’s life when the mind may be willing but the body just don’t give a damn…..

BREAKING NEWS….. BREAKING NEWS….. BREAKING NEWS……..

Baldrick remembered to bring back the ‘forfeit’ and then cunningly left it in the car…. We all know the rules about carrying forfeits round the trail so he was duly punished again….(He was smiling like the proverbial Cheshire at the thought of another 2 weeks with his new found ‘aid’) However, (and there’s always a but) since he whinged that he wasn’t going to be here next week he craved the Hash’s pardon…. Like a greyhound out of a trap Whinge was up there volunteering to carry his brother Hashers’ Load. What is it with men and soft round objects???? I suspect the ‘Right TiT’ has found a very caring home now, it was up his jumper, down his trousers and Whinge was last seen stroking and licking it….. oh dear, here we go! I suspect we won’t ever see it again….. or it will come back very thumbed and ‘man-handled’!

On On. Hashgate as you’ve never seen him before… woof woof!.

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-

They don’t make ‘em like they used to!

Up and Coming