Run Number:1714 Visit the website - http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk

Website Email - iceman@berkshirehash.co.uk

Venue: Near Aldershot

Hares: Cheating but mainly Goldenballs and Trembler

The Damned

Motox, Slowsucker, BGB, Iceman, Caboose, Twanky, Dorothy, Skinnydipper, Bogbrush, Fannybag, Cabin Buoy + too few to remember.

Hare Coursing

I have often wondered why Cheating organises joint Hashes (This one with Surrey and North Hampshire). Actually that is rubbish as I know it is because most of BH3 would rather a) Run a Marathon b) Wash their hair c) Take a warm bath and open a vein. Numbers were down(!) and I only went because foolishly I had let Cheating flatter me into thinking that I could stand and pontificate about the History of the Wellington Monument – Mind you my initial thoughts went: “The Hash is near Fleet and the regroup is in Stratfield Saye. Crikey !!!” The fact that one could even contemplate this shows why even with two other Hashes the total attendance was about 45. The said monument is actually on Round Hill near Aldershot not that I saw it as it was on the “Ballbreaker” after the re-group and there was no way that I was going to inflict an additional 4 miles onto to the tortuous trail that had been already inflicted on my ageing knees and particularly as Cheating doesn’t encourage running preferring bashing through bracken or over log strewn forest floors in the hope of breaking a leg or two.

Hare coursing is as you know a barbaric pastime for neer do wells and travelling folk and is now illegal. Sadly it still exists in the form of “co-haring” with Mr Cunningham and is cruel and unkind and should be banned. The wiser of BH3( The 85% of you that decided having wax treatment was preferable to attending) know that Cheating only does “Management” and never actually sets a trail so whoever he has cajoled/bribed/blackmailed into laying the trail usually appears a pale shadow of there pre trail selves. Fortunately Goldenballs and Trembler cast pretty large shadows and we were all grateful that they are also strong-minded enough to actually lay some flour and not just on the backs of trees as favoured by CL though Goldenballs was at a loss to know how the “Medium” trail had mysteriously got longer since he had checked it out earlier in the week!

We had gathered in the most rutted car park in four counties and I took it upon myself to check that people had fresh batteries in their head torches and emergency rations. Cheating who was showing off his new haircut though I think he needs his eyes checking as well as he appeared to have gone to a Butchers not a Barbers, rambled on and we waited for Goldenballs lucidity to reassure us that there were short cuts/walkers trails and a sensible medium trail for those of us looking for exercise not mind numbing exhaustion. The trail itself wound in and out of the woodland and up and down gravel tracks until we emerged onto a plateau to the re-group where we enjoyed not only the magnificent view over Farnborough airfield but snifters of Port and Baileys(Posh lot these Surrey hashers!).

This was decision time, to go on the long trail or take the medium trail back to the car park? We had been out an hour at this stage! I took the advice of Trembler who had been coerced into laying much of the trail. It was a no brainer really as he pointed out a distant spire in the opposite direction of the start and informed me not surprisingly that much of the additional 4 miles was not on tracks and footpaths.

The saner of us waved the “Ball breakers” goodbye and set off back along mainly tracks with not much flour to find. The pack stayed mainly together aided by the Surrey Trumpeter and an exhausted looking Hare. The friskiest runners seemed to be two Jack Russells taking their owners out for a walk

We were greeted in the Car Park by some fine beer left over from a party and for a small contribution to the “Help for Heroes” charity we drowned our sorrows.

It could have been worse especially as my “Anger Management Consultant” has warned me against going on Cheating run events. I was reasonably calm and coherent and by leaving before said CL got back managed to enjoy what was left of Sunday. I just had time to take this picture of one of the long trailers who had arrived back at 1.25 pm. Perhaps going to run the Berlin Marathon wasn’t such a daft idea!

Thank you to Goldenballs and Trembler for all their hard work and to the Surrey Hash for the various refreshments.

Down Downs

I had left as it was getting dark!

On On to;