The Hashers

Awol, Baldrick, BGB, Billy Liar, Blowjob, Bogbrush, Butterfly, C5, Cabin Bouy, Centaur, Cerberus, Chopstix, Desparate, Dribbler, Dumper, Dunny, Flash, Flo, GT, Heavy Petting, Iceman, Miss Whiplash, Motox, Nappy Rash, Old Dog, Penny Pitstop, PQ, Pocha, Rampant Rabbit, Septic, Shandyman, Shitfor, Simple, Skids, Snowy, Spex, TC, Trembler, Twanky, Vertigo, Whinge, Zebedee, Diver, Jaywax, Knee Trembler, Kath, Emma, Frankie, Mark and Mark (Max and Angie’s friends)

The ‘You know it’s going to be a long’ Hash

Does anyone like music? Think I have found Hashgate’s little secret… he sent me some instructions for playing the recorder… why on earth he thinks I might still be interested in that goodness only knows (I was in the School Recorder group I know and won lots of pwizes…..), ...... Ok, so he passed on his little ‘voice recorder’… but personally I prefer pen to paper and word of mouth, there is just so more that can be mis-construed. (see below)

Now it came to pass, and yes you might as well yawn, we were all clamouring to have Slowsucker back as GM when Simple swung into Sunday Soporific Sermon mode… who knows what he was on about except he was doing some basic arithmetic trying to get us to add 10 plus 10 plus 10. All above my head I’m afraid. We were too busy looking at the hasher with new shoes (who didn’t even get a down down…..) A few almost forgotten faces turned up, Vertigo, Cabin Boy and Centaur. A few new people appeared, some lady and her hubby from Holland, both called Mark I believe??? Most Odd.

So with a handful of Virgins, a warren of Hares, the pack and followers set off on the ‘one of two’ ways the trail could go. I suppose folk should really have guessed from the corpulent leader’s wobbling that he intended to pull lots of flankers! And so it was that after 10 minutes the front runners had still to find the right trail, whilst the walkers went steaming ahead – of course no blame is laid at Billy Liar’s door, he wouldn’t dream of hiding the ‘F’ or kicking out falses and checks…. Mmm. Though he was seen watering the sacred Yew Tree and emerging pretending he was doing some stretches…. Stretching what I ask myself????

The Hares had laid a cunning plan with a plethora of Falses hiding behind trees/only visible when you were actually upon them and from the frantic calling a great time was had by all in the woods. Except Mrs Trembler, who sadly turned her ankle and had to be carried back by him indoors. What a gent! Unlike poor old Jaywax who ended up doing a rather circular trail on her own. Baldrick was completely non-plussed, flitting from Harriet to Harriet hoping for waves of sympathy mumbling something about how she always finds her way back in the end, besides he had started his beer and it would be such a shame to let it go to waste….. Chivalrous Knight, eat your heart out!

STOP PRESS STOP PRESS HOT GOSSIP HOT GOSSIP : Who, we all want to know, was Cabin Boy talking too? Must be a ‘lady’ and must be fairly intense ‘cos he spent nearly all of the hash running round with the phone glued to one ear and a finger stuck in the other. Please email Hashweb with clues/inspirational gossip!

AND: Shitfor is definitely on a promise or hasn’t been fulfilling his manly duties… Desperate was heard skipping through a field whilst singing dreamily, ‘Roll me over in the clover, roll me over lay me down and do it again….’ Oer, I say chaps!

So what else happened on the trail, oh apart from the glorious weather you mean? It was almost like summer, hot, sunny and sweaty. Whinge was honing up his hand to eye co-ordination by using the RA as a target to see if apples go splat on contact, rather than ‘ouch’! Iceman obviously wants something as he was being terribly nice to hashers telling them where the falses were.

Then of course the old sheep worrier showed his true light, a veritable farmer’s worst nightmare. Motox, having gathered some lovely fungus for the frying pan, thought the lunchbox had landed when he came across the chicken run…. Drooling dreadfully and images of steaming chicken and mushroom pie swirled round in his imagination. Only to be dashed to smithereens as the old boilers took one look at him and fled to the safety of the chicken coop. Is there such a thing as a chicken-worrier? MMMmmm, no probably not. Let’s just stick to the usual, sly old Fox!

Well, if anything else happened, I missed it, or folks are keeping quiet knowing that a secret halved is a secret circulated round the whole hash. Word of warning for the pub though, about customer service. Picture the scene; one girl serving, four in the back filing their nails, queue of 40 hashers, another girl emerges, glances round, puts down her nail file and asks ‘is anyone waiting to be served?’ It was too nice a day to grumble though, the sun was shining, a lovely beer garden and for those that did eat, the food looked and smelled scrummy! (waiter had nice eyes too Hitch, so you missed that one!)

Notices to Notice Twanky wants to remind people that he is organising another of his Grand Days Out, this time to see Shrek on July 8 2011 and depending on numbers will be organising a coach. Cost is approximately £40 (including coach) but he needs final numbers by the end of October at the latest. You have been warned!.

* Tickets are still available for the CAMRA do on December 6, see C5.

* Next Hash Walk is October 23, Motox is putting the details on the web. Watch this space!

On On. Old Dog aka Hashgate must be washing his hair again.

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-

Totally like, Random, like!

Up and Coming