RUN No 1718 Sunday 24^th Oct. 2010

The Hashers Simple, Skids, Nutty, Potty, Dunny, Rampant, Desperate, Shitfer, Cerberus, Billy, Heavy Petting, PP, Lemming, Mother, C5, Dumper, Septic, Lonely, Lilo, Tin Opener, Bomber, Posh, Florence, Zebedee, P.Q. Pocha, Stripper, Baldrick, J Wax, Whiplash, Penny Pitstop, Effingham, Messenger Boy, Mrs Party Animal, Two Bob, It’s Yours, Whinge, T.C., Moto Cross, Bogbrush Old Fart, Dipper,

Sunday morning, 10.52 and there is a pre-hash knobbly/wobbly knees competition, comparing “MY KNEE SPECIALIST ” conversation between Potty “Told me he’d never seen one so bad, he couldn’t believe I’m managing to run and play squash?”, Cerberus “bone on bone and but I still walk the dogs and tread all over Billy”, TC “he asked, how did I manage to walk into his consulting room”, I said “at your rates I wasn’t going to walk slowly,” C5 “it’s added 13minutes to my Marathon time.” He asked “why are you here!!” Whinge “He told me, he had never seen one so shredded” Slowsucker, listened to all of this, and commented “I’ve decided there’s no way I’m having my knee done!” Cowardly option Sir, pity poor Swallow, who had stayed at home today, to avoid listening to “Knees, Knees and more Knees.

Fortunately before things got out of hand, Posh instructed all those gathered in the field, they were in the wrong place and to gather outside the “Black Horse” as that was the given “Grid reference” Yes, Ma’am.

Our GM’s obvious aim is “I am going to pass on deep and meaningful readings to BH3.” Having listened to this, it left Bomber short of words and he uttered, “On out.”

There was an immediate split, Hashers to the left, and right for the walkers who were joined by one or two scoundrels who limped the first few Metres to warm up, before running off, to be ahead of the true hashers. It was a most glorious sunny late October day in one of the best Hashing areas in Berkshire and the trail made good use of all the terrain.

Lonely suddenly caught me up, having carried on running along the main track as it veered slightly left, where our cunning Hares had deviated to the right noticed by all except Lonely. We partook in pleasant conversation and from this I realised that he had no idea where he was. His first “we will soon be passing that very big stately home they recently converted into apartments” “No, we are nowhere near Borough Court” I informed him, he then said, “Is what comes next the very large Horse Sculpture?” I informed him that was sited close to the ex-pub “King Charles Head.” Poor misguided hasher.

The walkers meanwhile were being misled by Posh, isn’t she too young for short term memory loss? Now back on track Miss Whiplash, Effingham, P.Q. Septic, Nutty, Skids, Penny Pit stop, J. Wax, Lilo + Mitzi, carried on spoiling the quiet of the country side, airing their views on where The Chancellor of the Exchequer had gone wrong.

OnOn to the regroup and the long and short split, Cerberus, Billy, Lemming and Mother and your scribe, took the short, even on the short Billy created his own trail followed by all bar me, who climbed the hill and found the trail, later finding Billy and gang meandering along, with no feelings of guilt or shame off trail on a short cut. We just about managed to arrive back before the majority of the long runners. Good organisation, good trail, plenty of flour and calling, keep the standard up Berkshire.

As C5 arrived back somewhat mudded, he was moaning he had been “Lemminged,” we all knew something had been missing from the Hash.

Will our GM consider a referendum? Do we want to be Lemminged?

Dumper.

DOWN DOWNS.

R.A. C5 awarded the following Down Downs:-

Mrs Party Animal, Returnee Downed with style & gusto, could drink a party dry! Baldrick. 500 Runs. Slowing down! If he makes 600 runs, even a dram will be too much. Shitfer & Nappy Rash. Over imbibing last night. Shitfer had to lie down & rest on the trail.

Poca Choosing to do the long run, then moans after just 67 metres. Downed in fine style.

Mother. Pleased to see her back No stopping or dribbling, fine style.

Whinge. Get’s call, TC injured towards end of the Hash. Goes to rescue from the “On Out!” Years of practice, made for smooth performance.

Lemming. “Lemminged” the RA. And gets a free 1/2pint!!! Getting slower, how long would a pint take?

Posh & Bomber. The Hares. Pint of Ale for Bomber and Pint of Blackcurrant cordial for Posh. It looked like Posh was going to win, but then her cheeks coloured to the same as the Blackcurrant juice, she gave in before certain Hashers were lining up to resuscitate her. wise girl.

Forthcoming runs. 7^th Nov. No. 1720. The White Hart, Eversley. SU 775623. RG27 0PJ. Twanky, Blowjob, Dorothy & Paul.

I went to the Zoo the other

Day, there was only one dog.

It was a Shitzu.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home her husband is in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds “shut up you’re next.”

14^th Nov. No. 1721 Burghfield Village Hall, Burghfield Common. SU 651667. RG7 3EN. Old Dog & Fanny bag.

What do the Irish call a cocktail?

A pint of Guinness with a Potato in it.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Nothing, he isn’t going to come.

I said to the gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said “I can’t make Sunday Mornings!”