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C5 and Flo

The Hashers who eventually found the Hall

BGB, Billy Liar, Bogbrush, Bomber, Butterfly, C4, Centaur, Cerberus, Chopstix, Desperate, Dorothy, Dribbler, Dumper, Dunny, Fannybag, Flash, Heavy Petting, Iceman, Little Stiffy, Lonely, Loud and tasteless, Lunchbox, Messenger Boy, Motox, Mr and Mrs Blobby, Nappy Rash, Old Dog, Posh Tart, Rampant Rabbit, Septic, Shandyman, Sh**for, Simple, Skids, Snowy, Slackbladder, Slowsucker, Spex, Tarmac Cuddler, Whinge, Woodentop, Zebedee, Lungs, Aqua, Escort, Gromit, JJ, Stinking Bishop, Pancake, Vanessa Mundy, Frankie, Keyna

The Let’s lose them in the woods to make sure they appreciate the mince pies when they get back Hash

Be advised, don’t cadge a lift from Mr Blobby when you’ve had a skinful the night before and are behind schedule causing him to drive a tad fast and taking bends at >60mph. We did get to Frilsham before it started but like about twenty other hashers ended up at the bus stop wondering where the Hall was. I know men never ask directions but when Sally Traffic told us our destination was down some private unmade road Mrs B and I took control of the situation and rang a doorbell. The rest of the hashers followed us directly to the Hall…..

So once we had all arrived the circle started…. We had all turned off our hearing aids in anticipation of the usual twaddle only to be slightly gobsmacked as Simple didn’t have anything to say and went straight to the hares, or rather hare…. One of our airplanes was missing… had she run out of fuel? Had the ack ack guns caused her to land in foreign soil.... or was she true to form and always late…. At the precise moment C5 was telling us it was only a short 6 miles or so Flo valiantly appeared from the other end of the field and staggered over for some much deserved hot tea provided by C4 – what a provider of sustenance she is!! C5 had done the shorts and left poor old Flo to do the long and the falses – (ok artistic licence)

Anyway, the trail, or what was left of it. Someone had apparently removed a variety of checks and blobs – so we were told anyway, I suspect they forgot to lay that bit…..

We got off to a cracking start as the walkers met the runners at the intersection of all the checks….this was going to be one of those wiggly, shiggly, cunning plan trails – but then Baldrick wasn’t there so it was a just a usual, there are no rules trail. What could go wrong?

Billy Liar was skulking at the back trying to make sure that no-one pinched his hat. Now that his thatch is thinning he relies on a woolly covering that is now a target for all the frbs to try and grab and make off with. They all failed this time though – (that was a gauntlet being thrown down for next week boys!) which was just as well because Billy did his good deed for the year down by the pond. Poor old Motox was pounding along and obviously got distracted on a particularly shlurpy path by the pond. Either he was giving it a fisherman’s once over checking out potential places to get his rod out or he was hoping to see a mermaid - but slam dunk he was down. (yes the earth moved – see down downs below) However having hastened away to show that a covering of mud from head to toe doesn’t stop a storming hasher he suddenly realised he had lost his keys…. And yes, you guessed, good old Billy found them. We all take it back, you can be good when you try!

Sadly though something was lost on the trail and you can decide for yourself if anyone really wants to find Flash’s gloves. He had disappeared off, supposedly for a ‘natural break’ and came back minus his gloves….. I am too much of a genteel person to say much more so the best thought to leave you with is that they may bio-degrade eventually….

For those of you who like a little ‘tittivation’ there is a rather suggestive quote from Stinking Bishop (nice to see them both by the way) who was talking about Gromit liking heaving breathing and him coming up behind in little spurts….. apparently this is to do with going uphill or ski-ing, you decide!

Motox wasn’t the only one to come a cropper today, poor old Centaur, usually leading the pack and doing all the falses ended up practically walking having twisted his knee…. Sadly he still had to cycle home – hope he makes it safely!

Ok, so since I have spent most of my time at the back of the pack with the walkers I don’t really have much news so I’ll end this by saying a HUGE thank you to Cerberus, C4 (and Fannybag) for arranging copious amounts of lovely warm mulled wine and a seemingly endless pile of pies. With a smattering of Santa hats on the run I think we are all definitely getting into the groove for the Festive Season!!

On On. He’s still running about some hot hotel room with a tiny towel trailing from his torso Hashgate aka Old Dog.

Down Downs

RA S***for presented the following :-

New member named – Lynne aka Lungs



Style points


700 runs No wonder he looks old and haggard (ok has a face that has seen a lot of life – and always smiling)

Zoom and it was gone


200 runs almost as many as the women he has ‘known’ nudge nudge

Another notch on the belt as the belly expands to cope with the liquid…


150 runs – quietly packing them in

Calm, steady and with class!


Calling her a Sat Nag – cos the electric version didn’t work

Ok, the main thing is they got there in the end!


Putting up with him not being able to follow simple instructions!

(see above)


Giving us all an earthmoving moment and losing his keys

The old ones are the best

Billy Liar

Threatening to use the found keys to give Motox a ‘little’ surprise on Christmas morning

Like everything else round Billy you have to nail it down or it’s gone in a flash!


Stepping into Wally’s shoes and being a pain in the neck bossing people around and also being a mini-Iceman bellowing the on on (think she did herself a mischief doing it though!)

Met her match with the RA, but then he’ll being paying the price when she gets him indoors…….


Adopting a new position on the BH3 as Hash Agony Aunt (ladies only though and by appointment)

Calm, confident, safe and smoothly to the finish. He’ll be releasing his case notes on Hash-Wiki-leak!!

Up and Coming



Grid Reference




26 Dec


The Mill House, Floral Way


The Thatcham




2 Jan


The Beehive, Waltham Road

White Waltham Maidenhead

Desperate and



Hash Walk on Christmas day at 10.45am on Sat 25 December (when else would it be?). Meet opposite the Six Bells pub in Burghfield Village. Grid ref 668686 – please park alongside the Village Green, not in the pub car park. For more details contact Motox 01189583887