The ‘Don’t they know Christmas was weeks ago? Hashers

There being 70 eaters and a few extra runners, space does not permit listing the revellers, but you know who was there if you were there…..

The BH3 Christmas Late Lunch Hash

Doh I’b dot dawking funny I dot a bad dold and dot bery well, sniff sniff, splutter, splutter….

Yes, Ok everyone has had colds/flu/swine flu/CabinFever/yellowFever you name it we have all been ill but we are hashers and like the Phoenix we rose from the flames (sweaty sheets) and burst forth to the brave new world that lies in the depths of Thatcham….. Try and stop us gels from turning up at a football club rendezvous trying to get a glimpse of a well turned sternum/shin splint? Steaming torsos aglow with Wintergreen/Ralgex…….Not one was in sight so we all shrugged our shoulders and headed off to the circle that eventually formed in the muddy and puddly car park.

Don’t ask me what the GM waffled on about this time, my ears are still full of fug and I can’t hear a thing but basically he was trying to remind us that it was our Christmas treat so there had better be lots of festive faces and smiling good cheer….well it was until the hares rolled up with pink flour (yes pink!) Well you see, it was snowing at Christmas and so one has to have coloured flour so that one can see it against the white snow…. Mmmmm with everyone knee deep in muddy puddles much of this was lost on us really.

Sadly, and I hate to say this as the hares did a v good job, the resounding word of the day was BORING…. And I quote; ‘it could only ever go up the hill that way and back, or that way and back down the hill, so it was quite boring really.’ (and this was one of the hares, oeeer.)

However, never let it be said that I don’t rise to the challenge (no sniggering at the back). There were a few fishy things that occurred on the route. One being a very smelly, dead, half rotten fish on the tow path. Now whether Slackbladder had been out on one of his night fishing expeditions and had lost this has he cycled home or whether it had leapt out of the water to attach itself to a flour fish-hook we will never know, but boy did it wiff. Talking of fish-hooks. Who was the poor hasher who got caught by that jape? Naughty hare to wait and quickly lay a fish-hook to make some front runner run right to the back of the pack…. Good one Snowy, think I’ll do that on my next run too!! (Fiendish laugh!)

Gossip Girls! Guess who has been leading Twanky astray??? Yes Billy, look to your Laurels, Cerberus is in the market for a younger man and was seen taking a shine to Twanky and telling him that they should go along a short cut she knows…. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Mind you poor old Heavy P has a job on her hands with Nappy Rash. This guy just doesn’t know when to stop. So keen he is that he went racing down a hill to an obvious false I mean come on NR, how long have you been a hasher???? But I think the thing we do all need to be aware of is that no matter how relaxed and casual hashers can be (and there were some very casual outfits today – C5 just loves those little bra tops and Snowy was very envious of the green and red stripy tights…..) Lunchbox really took the prize in ‘not a good look my dear’ groan. Not only was he wearing sandals and socks but the socks were odd! I thought French people had that certain je ne said quoi chic? I think it is time for a makeover Lunchbox, you have a name to live up to???!!!

The highlight of the hash though, apart from a very welcome beer stop where the hares were trying to get rid of left over Christmas mince pies (I thought you could only eat MilkyWays in between meals without ruining your appetite?) was of course our Christmas lunch back at the Football Club. The weather had held off and as the temperature dropped we all bustled inside for good company, good food, good fun and a good laugh at some of Santa’s sexy helpers. Potty really does need to work on that wiggle as he’ll never get any tips. C5 got plenty of pinches in his satin shorts and tutu and we won’t comment on the blonde wigs….. We had crackers, bucks fizz, balloons in tights, a quiz and of course Santa’s secret sack, whilst we ate, drank and made merry. Well done to the organisers!

Ps Does anyone know where Hashgate is? This seems a long trip to India but then maybe he is getting ready for world domination…..

On On. Don’t forget to pay your subs Old Dog aka Hashgate.

Down Downs

RA Simple presented the following :-

Up and Coming

Again, please don’t forget 2011 BH3 Membership Subs are due. Cost is still only £10 and once you have paid it means you get membership discount on BH3 events, only have to pay 50p tick, have access to this incredible web site that Iceman looks after and soooooo much more! It is always best if you come forward with your form and cash/cheque rather than have me hound you in the car park so you have been warned. I will be armed with pen and clipboard!

On On

Old Dog
(in her official capacity as Sub Collector!)