Berkshire Hash House Harriers 



Run Number:



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Dunsden Village Hall


Cerberus, Billy, Twanky

The Legion of Hashers

Awol, BGB, BumWiper, Cheating, Cloggs, Desperate, Dipstick, Dumper, Foghorn, HeavyPetting, Honeymonster, Iceman, IPlod, Lemming, L&T, Lungs, Messenger Boy, Miss Whiplash, Mother, Motox, NappyRash, NonStick, Old Dog, Pancake, Septic, Sh**for, SkinnyDipper, Spex, Spot, TC, Whinge, Keyna Garner, Hazel Inman, Frankie Kennedy, Returnees Jaywax and Baldrick, Charlotte, Marie, John, Kevin and Mandy (and a variety of dogs)

The Hash

Ave Emporatore, morituri te salutant! Ceasar cast his eye over the gathering mob.  What a horde had come to spectate in the amphitheatre.  Brave legionnaires, hunky gladiators, sleek foot soldiers and the baying rabble.  Swords were tempered, feed stamped, the pack was hungry for gore…..Brows were gleaming with sweat, the smell of fear hung in the air…..

Ok so it was one of those themed events where because Billy was 60 (yes!!) and Twanky was 40 (still only looks 12) someone in their wisdom had decided we should come along as Centurions.  Picture the scene, a colander for a helmet?  A cycle helmet with a brush tied bristles uppermost!  Two ‘unravelled’ scouring pads for epaulets.  Swirling cloaks and capes a plenty and far too many pointed swords.  I believe some pictures were taken and no doubt will be up for sale to the highest bidder just shortly…..  Good advert though for ISCA, nice shirts!

I felt sorry for Desperate, Cerberus, who let it be said provided an absolute and veritable feast (3 cheers!!) had sent the poor gel down to waitrose for some more bread and she was fair puggled cycling up the hill with a sack of loaves to feed the 5,000.  I drove past her very carefully so’s not to knock her off.

Although a lot of the regular BH3’s were either shoosing down the piste (or is that getting…) or were slogging their little hearts out on the Grizzly there was a real crowd of ne’r do wells that gathered round Miss Whiplash.  No mess, no waffle, just straight to the point, who’s new, who’s come back and over to the hares!!! Oer.  Baldrick and Jaywax have come back for a while and marriage and sunny climes doth suit them both well as they were smiling and nicely tanned.  Please do ask Messenger Boy about being plastered, up to the elbow…. He’ll give you some shpiel about a rogue electric drill doing a Gromit on him and spinning out of control????

Atten…..shun!  The forced route marchers lined up, peeled off by numbers and duly strode up the hill (it always goes that way) loudly harranged by the storming sergeant majors.  We turned right, as you do, and never saw the pack again (speaking as a walker that is)  Ok, we got lost at least twice, despite having been promised that there would be lots of Ws guiding us.  More like map blanche…So the tales and tittle tattle that follows is all hearsay and as they say, don’t shoot the messenger.  In keeping with true BH3 traditions the pack managed to come across at least one beaming farmer reminding them to keep the noise down and stick to the paths (honest we tried….)

Slapper will not be donating to Pet Rescue as Lucy (aka Messenger Boy’s secret weapon for getting up hills) did a neat job in getting under his feet causing him to display his left footed hurdling technique and how to roll as you land to avoid major injury (I believe there was no blood involved!)  Lemming ticked a few people off taking advantage of the varying amount of freely available shiggy at every opportunity.  Cheating, well, as his name suggests, Cheated and did his normal shortcutting and pretending to have run the long/falses…. He’s at a funny age so I suggest we just humour him…

Motox had a splendid day.  Not only was he RA (see below) but thought all his Christmases had come at once when they got to the re-group.  Apparently there was a huge pile of junk that got him rubbing his hands in glee and put a glint in his eye.  I believe he rescued a remote control (for his TV?) and will probably be sneaking back there with his trailer for yet another wheel for his bike….

I believe there was only one real mud casualty and that was Jacob (aka Harry Potter junior) who ended up running in his socks having left his shoes behind in a huge strip of mud.  Mmmmm hope they weren’t white socks! 

Most of the Roman Legion made it back to terra firma and were well and truly ready for the veritable slap up celebration of the ‘old boys’ birthday do.  Our thanks and hearty ‘Hear Hear’ and ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow’ go to Billy and Twanky, for being so old and to Cerberus for doing the catering.  A task and a half it is to feed the hash and provide ye the loaves and little fishes to feed the 5,000 (and the ‘water’ to slake the thirst palette).  (a big thank you also to the ‘ladies wot did’ in the kitchen keeping it hot and topped up!)  Happy Birthday and thank you!!!!

On On.  He’s off on his travels again so scribe in absentia Old Dog, aka Hashgate

Can anyone identify this hasher? They got a down down for this?  Old Dog is either too senile to remember who it was or too much of a Lady to say. (I, of course am too much of a Gentleman! – Iceman)




Down Downs

RA Motox presented the following :-



Style points


Looking like an upside down brush!

Definitely a clean sweep


Colander on her head

Bit leaky if you ask me


Enjoying wielding her axe too much

Fearlessly down

Old Dog

I just held my hands up, honest, but Motox thought I was hiding something

I think I won but I’m probably deluding myself

Virgins x 4

There’s a first time for everything

Not bad and at least two will come back

Frankie and Kevin

Serious shortcutting

She did it with style and class, typical man he dribbled a lot!


Apparently she exercises like a man

Pity she can’t glug like one, far too ladylike

Baldrick and Jaywax

Returnees and apparently experiencing the earth moving

Jaywax put it away in true harriet fashion but Baldrick methinks is losing his touch

Billy and Twanky

The birthday father and son

Isn’t he slowing up in his dotage?

Cerberus, NoSole and Septic

The caterer and her kitchen staff

Stars everyone!!!

Up and Coming



Grid Reference




Mar 27


Dog and Duck, Highmoor, RG9 5DL

Dunny and Rampant


Apr 3


Englefield Social Club, The Street, Englefield RG7 5ES

BogBrush and Slapper