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Castle Pub, Cold Ash


Gusset, Trump & Silas May

The Pack was Ruffly made up of dogs and Hashers

Awol, Bogbrush, Bumwiper, C5, Cheating, Dorothy, Dunny, Fannybag, Flash, Florence, Iceman, Lemming, LiLo, Little Stiffy, Lunchbox, Messenger Boy, Miss Whiplash, Mother, Motox, NoSole, Nutty, Old Dog, Potty, Rampant Rabbit, Simple, Skids, Slapper, Slackbladder, Slippery, Slowsucker, Snowy, Spot, Swallow, TinOpener, Twanky, Vertigo, Zebedee, Blind Pugh, RandyMandy, John Haig, John Canning.

The Where the heck was the car park Hash?

Having scared the living daylights out of the aged cyclists slogging up one of the longest hills (so they said) in Thatcham I proceeded to drive out of Berkshire and into Cumbria, or so it felt like, to get to the car park. Park at the top of the hill the sheet said…..mmmm which hill???? Eventually most of us got there by hook or by crook, despite the fact there was a lovely clear sign on a bollard! It was then a fifteen minute dash down to the pub… oh dear, that meant a slog back up to the car at the end, it was not boding well at this point.

However. So picture the scene. Everyone who had a dog, brought a dog. Some of the dogs were in fancy dress and some were just in plain tee-shirts. (did anyone check with the rspca that it was ok to do this?) Cats also featured in this dog run, aka Slippery, thinking this would be good fitness training to come as a cat and try and keep ahead of the baying pack. Nutty produced a cat in her handbag, it was supposedly Toto but I’ve never seen a dog like that before. There was a bit of face painting and a few dog’s B&*ooocks tee shirts but most of us were going to be just happy not treading in anything our four legged chums would be using to mark out the trail….

I need to pass on a suggestion to our beloved leader that was hastily scribbled in crayon before the hasher left the car park: Dear GM, can you start the circle and your sermon at 10.50am so that we can start the actual trail on time please…. Methinks he who must be obeyed is definitely into long wind mode again. Mind you it’s nothing compared to the gossip that is circulating round the hash. Mother is pregnant! Actually I think Lemming is trying to promote his flagging prowess as Motox told Mother she was a c*ap runner because of who her trainer is! I ask you, how could he be so horrible? And if that wasn’t bad enough Dorothy put the boot in by saying that he could walk up the hill faster than she could run! Big awwww for mother and a group hug.

A smiling Potty really enjoyed the hash today, not because Nutty was limping at the back having hurt her leg on the piste but because twice, yes twice, he had to stop and give directions to groups of scantly clad, slim, nubile Duke of Edinburgh award type gals. He didn’t even notice their huge backpacks they were carrying, wonder what he was focussing on??? Talking of which, did you all see Cheating and RandyMandy lolloping into the trees? Mmmm she says he said it’s such a waste to miss out seeing the trees on a hash but I am reliably informed that exercise makes her true to her new hash name so she thought she’d lead him astray. Beware Cheating, she’ll get you one day!!

The trail sadly wasn’t far enough for some people, aka Dunny and Rampant, who, having stormed into the car park realised that their distance recording watches hadn’t got to a round figure so they zoomed round the football pitch to make up the last three quarters of a mile… mad or what. Then of course the trail was too much for some, aka Simple, who developed a huge blister (he’s not used to walking) which promptly burst on the downhill to the pub. Awwwww.

The walkers got lost, missed the second re-group so I have no idea what on earth went on but we all arrived back safe and sound ready for a swift half, oh, except Zebedee that is, who ran from home and arrived at the car park to start the hash just as we all got back and headed for the pub. Mad March Hasher if you ask me. Flo, patient as ever was seen checking her watch at 2pm wondering where the heck he was when Lunchbox confessed to kicking out a check the wrong way. Hope you got back safe Zeb?

Quote of the hash from Ebony, who really enjoyed it, ‘Wuff’.

On On. This was a run with your’s truly in mind, Old Dog, aka Hashgate’s abroad again.

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-



Style points


Birthday Girl, 21 again

Lip smacking double Baileys, no expense spared!


Lazy Walker but insisted on running in the car park to check his arthritic knees

Definitely needs more practice as he’s still a bit slow


Thought she was coming to a dogging hash

Fast and Furious as always


Can’t afford to put oil in his car and resorts to chip fat

No messing when it comes to sinking beer though

Kevin and Mandy aka Blind Pugh and RandyMandy

Naming ceremony

Loadsa flour and as usual he came first


Fell off his skis and told Lilo it was due to equipment failure

A good try


Parking in the wrong car park

Blink and you miss the sly old fox

Gusset and Trump

Today’s hares

Like the run, thankfully short and sweet

Up and Coming









Englefield Social Club
The Street, Englefield, Reading RG7 5ES

Bog Brush & Slapper

Change to Monday at 7.00 p.m.




The Wheelwright Arms
Davis Way, Hurst, Reading RG10 0TR

Two Bob, Pink Pamper & Lucy the Dog

Announcements : Twanky is still taking names of people for We will Rock You on May 17

Tickets for the Fun Run and Summer Balls up go on sale just shortly so bring cash!