THE CROWN                                                       

           FARNHAM COMMON.

   

 

 

HOUNDS:  BOGBRUSH ,FANNY,SLIPPER,NOSOLE,PISSQUICK,POCAS,MR AND MRS BLOBBY, POTTY,SNOWY,SLIPPEREY NIPPLES,ITSYOR, FIDDLER,FOGGY,DRAGON LADY,WHIPLASH,PANCAKE,SHIT4,DESPERATE,TWINGE,TC,BILLY, CERBERUS,BOOBY,MARK,DORA,SPOT ,SPEX,TASTLESS,UTOPIA, LUNGS,NEW LOOK FLO,ZEB.

 

 

 

FIRST OF ALL CONDOLENCES TO HASHGATE, BEEN TO MADEIRA NOW POTTY BOUND.

 

 

 

THIS WAS BOOBYS FIRST ATTEMPT OF TRAIL LAYING, CERBERUS HIS CO HOST WARNED HIM OF THE DARKER NIGHTS WHICH ARE NOW UPON US, "NOT TO LONG OR NOT TO TRICKY" SHE WARNED HIM. H E   MUST BE BLOODY DEAF OR VERY BRAVE TO DISOBEY HER MIGHTY ROAR.

 

 

 

 

 

OFF WE WENT, SOME RUNNING, SOME WALK ING AND OTHERS CHATTING AND JUST HANGING ON! AFTER A SHORT SECTION OF TAR MAC WE ENTERED THE DELIGHTFUL BURNHAM WOODS, WITH PONDS BRIDGES AND NATURE RESERVES AND A NET WORK OF PATHS THAT TWISTED AND TURNED         EVERYWHERE.

 

 

AFTER A LOT OF PUFFING AND SNORTING" DESPERATE" LED US ALL ALONG A NARROW "BOARD RUN "TO OUR FIRST BAR CHECK, "BLOODY HELL" SHE SAID THAT WILL TEACH ME TO RUN AT THE FRONT,  BILLY COMFORTED HER "DONT RUN THROUGH "HE SAID ,CAN WE PLEASE GO BACK!

 

 

"

THE PACK BECAME MORE SUSPICOUS AS WE CAME ACROSS FALSE AFTER FALSE "FANNY" CAME BACK FROM THE UNDERGROWTH, I AM STAYING WITH THE PACK ITS DARK AND LONLEY IN THERE .

 

THE HARES WERE DOING THERE STUFF. ITS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE SEEN SNOWY COMPLETELY CONFUSED ,"IS IT THIS WAY OR THAT WAY", HE SAW SENSE AND FOLLOWED" SLIPPERY NIPPLES" THEREAFTER.

 

 

THE LIGHT WAS NOW FAILING ,"SHITFOR" CALLED "ON" FOR THE FIRST TIME LEADING THE PACK DOWN A STEEP BANK WHERE A TREE HAD FALLEN ACROSS THE PATH ,PEOPLE WERE RUNNING IN ALL DIRECTIONS TO GET ROUND IT."SPLATT"" POOR OLD "SPEX" WHO AS WE ALL NOW HAS NIL VISION TRYED TO RUN ACROSS A BOG. KNEE DEEP AND SHOE LESS IT WAS "TWINGE" WHO CAME TO HER RESCUE, HAVING A FOOT FETISH HE COULD NOT RESIST(YOU WANT TO SEE HIS HIGH HEEL COLLECTION) THE STENCH WAS SO GREAT THAT "LOUDUN" ANNOUNCED THE SHOES WOULD LIVE OUTSIDE FOR THE REST OF THERE LIVES FROM NOW ON!!!

 

 

LOTS OF PEEING UP TREES AND LAUGHTER ,WE CONTINUED ON OUR EPIC.

 

 

"TC" WAS TRYING OUT HER NEW FOOT FOLLOWING SURGERY, HOW IS IT GOING I POLITELY ASKED, HURTING SHE SAID, THEY TOLD ME NOT TO RUN ON IT SO I THOUGHT "BOLLOCKS" I WILL TRY IT OUT ANYWAY, WHAT A TOUGH COOKIE I THOUGHT, BIT LIKE HER CAKES SHE MAKES!!

 

BY NOW,

 

 

 DARKNESS WAS OPON US ,WE SCRAMBLED THROUGH UNDERGROWTH FOUND EVERY SODING SCRATCHING HOLLY BUSH YOU COULD IMAGINE,

 

I WONT FORGET THAT POWER CRAZED LOOK ON BOOBYS "FACE",THE MAKINGS OF A GOOD HARE. " POCAS "WHO BY THIS TIME WAS  WORN DOWN (4FT 8 INCHES) ASKED ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET MY KNICKERS ARE KILLING ME!

 

 

THE END WAS NIGH, INTO THE LAST FIELDS WHERE WE WERE GREETED BY SOME LOVELY SHETLAND PONNIES WHO TOOK DELIGHT IN RUNNING IN WITH US.

 

 

A SUPERB RUN ENDED WITH THE WALKERS COMING IN AFTER THE NOTORIOUS ( NO SENSE OF DIRECTION) "BOGBRUSH "ALONG WITH ""MISS WHIPPY" WHO LED THE "WALKERS" ON A BIT OF A SONG AND DANCE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD MAPS (HARD TO BELIEVE" BOGBRUSH" IS EX" SIS".)" POTTY" PIPED UP TIME, "TO ENJOY ME SELF," SHES AT OME YOU KNOW.

 

 

AS WE WERE DOING THE DOWN DOWNS "ZEB " AND THE NEW LOOK FLO CAME IN," HAD TO ABANDON THAT ONE ,TO DARK", THE LATE ARRIVALS NEVER LET US DOWN DO THEY.

 

 

                                                                                                                                            STYLE:

 

DOWN DOWNS:

 

                          SPOT.                                                                                            SMOOTH!                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                       

                           LOUDANDTASTELESS: BIRTHDAY.                                                SHOWING HIS AGE!

 

                            SHITFOR:  NICKING C5S LEAD.                                                        IN A LEADING CLASS!

 

                            SPEX: BOG SNORKLING.                                                                WE ALL FELL ASLEEP!

 

                            SNOWY:  200 RUNS.                                                                        LIKE A TRUE CHAMP!

 

                            HARES: BOOBY                                                                        WILL SOON LEARN!                                                

 

                                        CERBERUS                                                                    WHO WANTS TO QUESTION IT!

 

 

 

 

KNOCK KNOCK WHOS THERE,            ICEMAN,    ICEMAN WHO,         ICE THE MAN WHO WROTE THIS        " BILLY"