Delegates

Flash Hashgate Foghorn Tweeny Catnap C4 C5 Bogbrush Fannybag Twanky Blowjob Cerberus BillyBullshit Desperate Shitfor Poca Swallow Slowsucker Whinge TC Dunny RampantRabbit Skids Simple Chopstix Shandyman Spex LoudonTasteless Iceman Motox Ms Whiplash Lungs Hitchhiker Spot Gnomealone Booby Dumper Septic Slippery Slapper NoSole Dribbler Butterfly Mrs Blobby Cheating Zebedee TT2 Florence Dwight Scoot TinOpener

The 33^rd AGM Hash

Firstly, let me thank Billy for his capital (both meanings) Gobsheet last week. I thought its style and presentation entirely matched our friend’s own. The well-spaced paragraphs, entirely made up of capital letters, perfectly represented a lot of shouting punctuated by blank moments. At least his scribblings made more sense than ShutupWally’s the week before…

So our Hash tonight, being the last of the Summer evening events, needed to be pushed on rapidly since dusk falls early like a giant dark cape over the landscape and running through forests can be a little, well, tricky. Our Hares had laid a shorter Trail than usual and had marked it exceptionally well, with blobs of flour almost every ten paces. I say ten. Depends who you are. If you are Zebedee it was more like twenty since his steps are short and rapid, like a centipede with two legs. If you are Simple it is more like eight since his style is more of a stretch, due to his lengthy legs and mighty thighs – the first thing, Skids advised us, that attracted him to her. Curious what attracts us to our other halves isn’t it? Perhaps Cerberus’ short-sightedness played a part in her own initial fascination. With Donut, of course, it was suave, soignée sophistication, coupled with a leonine handsomeness and whipcord muscle. But I digress.

Simple, in his last piece of GM action of the current year gave us a mercifully short introduction at the Circle before Potty and Snowy advised us that, “If you’re not on flour, you’re not on the Trail.” Which was a truism that Dunny and Booby found towards the final stages of the Hash when they blundered past three clear blobs leading off to the left while trotting mindlessly through the Stygian blackness of a thicket. Many of our wiser members had brought head torches. Clever them.

The run was fast and fun and damn all happened out of the ordinary. The only incident I recorded was Slippery’s exceptionally delicate skip over a fallen log. Dame Fonteyn couldn’t have been more graceful. It was a joy to watch. We finished in the dark and made our way into the Memorial Hall for the AGM.

The AGM

Simple obviously had it in mind to have a very businesslike meeting, with a laptop and projector to display last year’s minutes and Spex’s financial report. The wall on to which the images were projected had what appeared to be a large piece of softish white material that was usually used as a dartboard backing. Possibly by the visually challenged local darts team, since it was heavily scarred and pock-marked. Part of the display was on it, some on the wall above and some on the ceiling. And a small dialog box refused to disappear from the screen. Simple largely gave up on it and read out the minutes, which were warmly received by the somnolent audience. We listened with rapt attention. Spot had earlier tried to lighten proceedings by making a paper aeroplane of a copy of the minutes and flying it fully two feet before it crashed to the floor with a small ‘pffft’. Shandyman scribbled tonight’s minutes. Spex shuffled her financial report nervously. And a small green vegetable sailed through the open window at the top of one wall and sailed towards LoudonTasteless and me.We thought it had initially come from the kitchen and C4 and Fannybag, who were preparing supper and gettting restless. But, no, it had droppethed as green manna from heaven. We placed it carefully on the table as Simple droned carried on.

Spex’s assessment of our financial position resulted in many a drooping eyelid, blank faces or total incomprehension. It was pleasing to see those elders of our group: Dumper and Dribbler, raising important points of order. These were not understood by 95% of the attendees but at least Spex managed to equivocate and obfuscate sufficiently to confuse them both until they slowly sat down, muttering thanks for, well, they weren’t too sure.

There were one or two serious points of discussion at the meeting but I’m sure you don’t want to read about them here. No doubt you wait on Shandyman’s rendering of the minutes with drooling anticipation. I shall leave it to him to satisfy your curiosity and continue with taking the mickey.

One innovation tonight concerns the block approval of those daft sods responsible Committee members who had so graciously agreed to stand again in positions of responsibility. The whole bunch were approved in an almost unseemly rush. One minute we were relieved. The next we weren’t, so to speak. But at least we have been joined by some new, thrusting, keen members (I’m sure many of the ladies on the Hash will appreciate that) as you can see from the table below.

Our thanks go to everyone who has and who will be serving on the Committee.We are a successful Hash and these are some of the people who help keep it that way.

The meeting ended at 21:25 and we fell upon the excellent fare provided by C4 and Fannybag. A pleasant evening and BH³ are set up for another great year. Onward and upward!

Last ‘word’ went to Twanky who climbed up on to the stage opposite the wall where the projector projected, waved at Simple to get his attention, then pulled down the projection screen that was there and grinned like a Cheshire cat. Nice one 

On On. Hashgate.

Down Downs

RA C5 presented the following :-

Up and Coming – Sunday 11 o’clock from now on