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Run Number: |
1833 06Jan13 |
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Visit the
website – http://www.berkshirehash.co.uk |
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Venue: |
The White
Horse |
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Hares: |
Hashgate,
Donut, HP, |
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Mad Hatters
Debbie Chris BlindPew RandyMandy Ms Whiplash Spot Foghorn Lemming Mother Theresa Bumwiper and dog Ebony Motox Dumper OldDog BGB Tequilova Snowballs Potty Simple Bogbrush Fannybag PenelopePitstop Mrs Blobby Mr Blobby C5 Bomber Posh Cerberus BillyBullshit Shitfor Desperate Caboose Whinge TC Lilo and dog Minx Tinopener Booby Slapper Alison SkinnyDipper 2Bob and dog Lucy DampNest Barry Diver Treacle (now renamed Jeremy) Dunny Rampant JohhnyWalker Carloss Lonely Zebedee Florence Itsyor Swallow Slowsucker
The January Duck/Hat Hash
The
last time we hosted a Hat Hash was in November 2011, in glorious sunshine. By
contrast today the skies were grey and the air hung heavily. When we refreshed
the Trail earlier fog had hung like wet gauze over the countryside. Everything
was damp except our spirits. Particularly Donut’s and my running shoes. The
normally light foot covers, soaked in water and covered in shiggy weighed like
diver’s boots (no, not Diver’s boots, diver’s boots… if you see what I mean).
It was good to see that most people had made the effort to wear a piece of head
furniture. Bumwiper (from the neck up) looked like she was all set for Ladies’
Day at Ascot with a purple, stylised, shortened top hat. Rachel Trevor-Morgan
could hardly have done better. SkinnyDipper sported a tiny orange bowler to
complement her Dutch orange T-shirt. BGB resembled a ‘mature’ urban terrorist
in his camouflage cap. HP had surpassed all with the white bowlers she had created
for her and NappyRash. Ducks dabbled and quacked behind bullrushes round the
brim. Donut had added, to a couple of my company sales collateral baseball caps,
a yellow plastic duck to the top of each and an imaginative water feature at
the peak, fashioned from two layers of light and dark blue paper. Very snazzy.
Mrs Shilling would have approved of the Hares. Now the idea behind the Hat Hash
was to have a theme for the day – always good fun - and anyone can get hold of
a hat. The duck theme just evolved, partly because our original venue, The
Flowing Spring, was living up to its name and its land was mostly under water
with aquatic fowl drifting peacefully round the car park. Partly also because
we would visit two duck ponds on the Trail, one of which I had never even heard
of despite living within ½ a mile of it for some years. In addition, the
weather and sheer volume of flooding in the area made it seem highly
appropriate.
The Hash started as it meant to go on, in a mess of confusion with some people finding a non-existent Trail up Kidmore End Road before being called back. The rest tramped or trotted up the road behind the pub to the other False. Most gratifying to we Hares. The Pack fared no better by the first of the duck ponds with almost everyone heaving off towards Caversham for no reason other than almost everyone decided it would be a Good Idea. Caversham Park Village proved to be just as difficult. The place is a rabbit warren of paths and we had made full use of as many as we could. It took a while to reach the edge of the development opposite Clay Copse woods and I surprised Whinge with a dash of prescience by shouting, “On Check!” before he had actually seen it. We plunged into the winter greenery… and entered mud hell. The place has never had so much standing water. The bramble-strewn trails were awash. We slid sideways as we skittered through the shiggy, showering tree boles with splashes of mud as we sploshed past. We ran past a small lake that has never existed before, ski’d and skated across what had been a grassy area and came upon an area of bog, mere, march, fen, quagmire, call it what you like but it was the deepest, smelliest shiggy path we have seen in a long time. I slopped squelchily past Posh, who was digging a shoe out of the morass. Then came upon Bumwiper who was stuck fast, calf deep in squelch. Slapper was trying to pull her out. First one leg sucked free, then got sucked back in as the other popped out. It was quite amusing to watch and my only excuse for not stopping to help (as any gentleman should) was the need to ensure (as any Hare should) that the rest of the Pack was on the right track. They weren’t. We had managed to snooker ‘em with the old Back Check routine, quickly followed by the old 2-Way Check sketch. I’ve enclosed a picture of BumWiper in case you needed photographic evidence. She looks quite buff, doesn’t she? J
The
good thing about having more than two Hares is the number of Checks, Bars,
2-Way Checks, One-Blob Checks et al that you can lay and today we ran
through the entire list… as did The Pack. There were boggy fields, a gravelly
church car park, thick, cloying, ploughed land and a beer-free Regroup even
though it was in my road, as Shitfor observed to the thirsty group. However, if
the Long Trailers (it split into Long and Medium from here) had drunk any booze
I’m not sure they would have finished the Trail. We had laid a fiendish 1¼ mile
loop all the way down the slippery hill to The Flowing Spring (thought they
might like to see it under water) before skipping lightly across the base and
right back up again. It was quite hard work and I must applaud my co-Hare
NappyRash who ran the whole Trail before the Hash to check the flour, including
this hill. Dedication? Mania? A hamster-in-a-wheel like devotion to Trail
laying? Who knows, but well done NP!
As Bumwiper said to us Hares after the Trail, “You’ve completely tired my dog out. She’s gone to sleep in the car.” 6½ miles of shiggy had done for the poor creature… and many of us bedraggled, mud-spattered Hashers. I hope the millionaire shortbread and brownies helped to restore some of your energy. Hope you enjoyed it – we Hares certainly did!
On On. Hashgate.
Down Downs
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Who Got It |
Why and How They Did |
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DampNest, Billy |
Our lady from N. Wilts and her virgin Hasher. He whacked it down. |
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Posh |
For bumping into Shitfor in Waitrose with a jar of caviar in her hand. She queried why he would be there anyway. Dainty sherry Down. |
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Lilo |
Hasn’t been watching TinOpener? I’m confused about
that one too. |
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dDiver, Chris, Tequilova |
The latter two Hash Crashed in the Shiggy (Tequilova living up to her name). Diver fell off the wall she was sitting on while watching the Down Downs! |
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Treacle |
He hates his name, Jeremy, so what was he named? Why Jeremy, of course J Well done and what a good sport he is. |
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Hashgate, Donut, HP and NappyRash |
The Hares. I got an extra one for my birthday. Needless to say they all finished before me! |
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Chris |
Our other virgin today. Excellent tope. |
Up and Coming
|
Run |
Date |
Grid Reference |
Venue |
Hares |
|
1835 |
20Jan13 |
The
Three Horseshoes
|
MessengerBoy |
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|
1836 |
27Jan13 |
The Foresters Arms |
Ms Whiplash |