Berkshire Hash House Harriers 



Run Number:

1860 15Jul13


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The Duke of Wellington


Shitfor & Desperate with the walk by Cerberus


Spex LoudonTasteless Donut Hashgate Mike Wendy Whinge TC Dumper OldDog Utopia Uplift Mrs Blobby Mr Blobby C5 Motox Hotlips Ms Whiplash Honeymonster Nappyrash Spot OldFart Iceman Caboose Slowsucker Swallow MessengerBoy Dunny Rampant Julia Roz (now named Happyfeet) Glittertits Pissquick Posh Bomber BillyBullshit Cerberus Bumwiper (sans Ebony - injured) CrustyToasty Amanda Christian Blowjob Zebedee Florence Shifty Jill BlindPew Tony(Collins) SkinnyDipper Lonely GoldenBalls

Sweatin’ Lahk a P.I.G.

Firstly, let me extend our collective thanks to Billy who kindly, and in his own inimitable style, wrote a couple of Gobsheets in my absence. The first (1857), due to its visual structure, appeared to be some kind of metric verse, perhaps a Billy sonnet. The second (1858) regaled the eye with a variety of colours and two pictures inserted into the unconquerable prose. I visualised the lad sitting at a table, licking the tip of his crayon and struggling for inspiration while Cerberus looked on expectantly – Zelda to his F. Scott. Eventually the Muse landed like an invisible pigeon on to his shoulder and gave him a mighty peck on the earhole which prompted him into the furious scribbling that is what you now see on the website. So here’s to you, Billy, for two exepshionally AMUSING Gibshites and the unmatchable phrase in the latter that read: “After lots of weaving to and throwing…”

It was hot. The Twyford flags were hot enough to fry an egg. Trees hung their green boughs limply, desperately sucking up the little moisture in the earth to assuage their thirst. Even Donut and Posh had bare arms and legs! There – now you know how hot it was. We are in the middle of that most unusual of English events, a heatwave. So what does BH3 do? We go out for a good old run followed by a barbeque!

Text Box: Not this bad on the dayThough billed as Shitfor and C5’s birthday Hash Shitfor’s is on Thursday and C5’s is actually next week. I put it to him that he is then not as old as everyone thought, which cheered him up a bit. Also cheery was a great mass of Hashers and hangers-on who turned up in the car park, chatting and steaming gently in the heat before we burst like a slow motion people bomb to try and find the Trail. Poor Spot and NappyRash got well suckered by the liberal blobs of flour I had seen Shitfor dropping around the crossroads when I drove up earlier and had to backtrack seriously to catch up with the main Pack as it set off down the hill. Unusually enough we headed into the lake area, which is a location our Hares have studiously avoided in the last few Trails they have laid here… since everyone always expects to go there. They caught almost everyone napping with a crafty Bar-7 that led us back to under the railway bridge (where Lonely and I were heading when we heard NappyRash call “On On”) and out towards Lands End… and the ford. Now this ford was where SkinnyDipper had trodden too boldly some while ago. Out in the middle and on to a particularly slimy, green patch beneath the water that resulted in her executing a perfect back dive into the icy depths and earning her her sobriquet. Today there was nothing green in the water but certainly something slimy, in the forms of C5 and NappyRash who were busy splashing anyone who dared stream across the ford (bit of a joke there you see – reverse of ‘ford the stream’ Haha. Oh, please yourselves). Now Utopia and Mrs Blobby took the sensible precaution of nipping across the paddock and over the little bridge. Donut had not so I thought the gentlemanly thing to do would be to give her a St. Christopher-style piggy-back. She hopped on. We waded in. The two lads soaked us from head to foot. Oh well. I tried. At least Donut won the Ms Wet T-Shirt competition later. Shifty had the most amusing method of getting across. He removed his running shoes, citing that he needed to wear the shoes later to drive home. Sounds plausible doesn’t it? However, later at the pub we found him a) wearing a pair of flip-flops, and b) what was stopping his wife from driving?

Just after the ford I bumped into Caboose who told me he had been in the Lands End pub, enjoying a pint. The blighter had not been caught out by the Bar-7 and had reached here way before anyone else. Since we were still not there by the time he had finished his first pint he had another, noticing that there was an offer of a free hat to anyone who consumed 4 pints of Brakspears. He was somewhat disappointed that he had to stop after managing only 50% of the hat challenge so I suggested he might advise the Duke of Wellington that he had already drunk 2 pints, seek confirmation from the Lands End pub, then drink 2 more and claim the hat. Be funny if it was a kepi or a busby J

We stopped at the Beer Stop, hosted by Desperate’s delightful daughter, Becky and gratefully sank… actually, mostly water. Everyone was gasping in the heat. It was a curious location. Disused railway line behind us and brand new car park and building going on where there had been tangled bushes and trees. March of ‘progress’ I suppose. Our sweating group were happy to know there would not be too much more Trail since we needed to get back for the barbeque. We skipped off with a light heart.

So I was a bit surprised to find myself on my own going round the lakes. Until Motox came striding up behind me and Spot and OldFart suddenly appeared from my right. Curious. But we managed to work out the right route and ended up on the road going up the hill to the pub, behind Uplift and Hotlips.

Must thank our hosts for an excellent barbeque and indeed the poor pub guy who yet again cooked for us at least he was given a Down Down as thanks). So nice this year to sit out in the garden with no need for marquees and overcoats.

On On.  Hashgate.

Down Downs

Presented by our inexorable (he ran the Bash yesterday!) RA C5.

Who Got It


C5, Shitfor

For being tonight’s birthday hosts


Our visitor from Surrey enjoyed his ½


All very complicated about not checking a Check. A ladylike sip.


Running the wrong way round the lake!


Winning the Ms Wet T-Shirt competition. Hurrah!


Taking off those shoes at the ford


Renamed ‘HappyFeet’ for pengiun-like walking. The girl took it exceptionally well and was determined to finish her drink

Shitfor, Desperate

Tonight’s Hares. Lot of cheating by Desperate. Holding Shitfor’s arm, down she won by a mile.

Up and Coming



Grid Reference






On To - The Diamond Tap
42 Cheap Street (Opposite Vue Cinema)
Meet at Wharf Car Park
RG14 5AU
to the left of the library (cost £1)

AWOL's Birthday Run




The Red Lion
Peppard Common RG9 5LB