Berkshire Hash House Harriers 



Run Number:

1873 13Oct13


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The Highwayman Inn
Exlade Street


Dunny, Rampant

Highway Men and Women

PenelopePitstop Ms Whiplash Donut Hashgate Whinge TC Debbie Suzanne Fiona Desperate Shitfor Florence Zebedee (actually slightly early this week!) Twanky Lemming Mother Theresa Caboose Shandyman Chopstix Tinopener Lilo and dog Minx Shifty FalseTart Foghorn Spex LoudonTasteless Lonely Skids Simple SkinnyDipper BlindPew RandyMandy NappyRash WaveRider Iceman Itsyor OldFart Nutty Potty Trainspotter Anorak Slowsucker Motox NoSole Slapper CabinBuoy

Let It Rain

After last week’s heat and glorious sunshine we were ‘treated’ to what the weather really should be like in October. Wet and not particularly warm. The rain rattled on the car roof and hosed down the road, slick and sinuous, like a snake’s back. We slotted ourselves into one of the few remaiing spaces in the little car park and stayed in the car, watching people wandering about under large umbrellas, OldFart and Simple among them. There seemed also to be quite a number of people in bright yellow, waterproof tops. The question was: why be out at all before one had to? Caboose sloshed around the corner past us, making his way from the bus stop. Whinge chatted happily in the downpour to a new lady. Only NappyRash had it sorted. While he changed behind the back of his car WaveRider held a large umbrella over him. Good to see that Women’s Lib hasn’t entirely disappeared.

It was quite fascinating to people-watch. Even more so when Desperate and Shitfor turned up. They seemed to be wearing teddy bear ears. Donut and I looked at each other in a resigned way. Idiosyncratic behaviour goes hand-in-hand with the two of them (Desperate later actiually forgot my name!) but this time they had good reason to appear as they did. Last week they had taken part in the Children in Need ‘Nine Lakes Challenge’ in the Lake District. This is a fairly testing mountain bike ride and lengthy trek to raise funds for the charity (see Hence the teddy ears, printed neck buff and medal and teddy on the end of what Desperate called a ‘langoustine’. Otherwise known as a ‘lanyard’. Frankly, hanging a moderately sized crustacean round one’s neck for charitable or any other purpose strikes me as more than a little eccentric. So, probably appropriate for this particular couple.J  Quirky or not, our congratulations and support go to both of them.

Our damp group were quite keen to get on with the Trail and we spent but a short time at the Gather Round, slopping off rapidly up or down the road. It struck me that, since today’s run was originally scheduled to be from The Four Horseshoes at Checkendon (sadly closed; hopefully temporarily) we would be heading in that direction so I trotted off up a narrow entry off the road that headed that way. There was good news and bad news. The good was that this was indeed the Trail. The bad was that it was straight uphill. Rather an early lung-stretcher that saw those of our group on more than forty Capstans a day on their backs in the bushes, legs in the air and racked with seismic coughing. Mind you, even when we levelled out Lemming was still hawking and snorting. Turned out he had a bad cold, poor chap.

As we approached the Check at Checkenden Equestrian Centre I thought I’d slow down to a ramble for a bit. RandyMandy trotted up level to me. “How much are you going to get for your sponsored walk, Hashgate?” She asked. I didn’t get it at all, pointing out that I wasn’t doing a sponsored walk and that it was Desperate and Shitfor who had taken part in last week’s charity event. Duurrr.

The rest of the thing was wet and appeared to be never-ending. We ran between paddocks with inquisitive horses, being advised by Chopstix to walk so that the snorting beasts wouldn’t get to excited and chew up the grass with their feet (the horses that is. Not us). We ran through the dripping forest and through the antiseptic tarmac world that is Borough Court. Believe it or not this entire place was built on the site of the sprawling old hospital grounds with the intention of creating a ‘community’. Not a single child, dog, shop, person, pigeon; not even a twitching curtain met us as we squished through the wet road and off into yet more damp forest.

Our Hares had laid a twisting, Back-Checking sort of Trail that required Rampant to follow up behind the FRBs (one of whom was Donut at one point!) and lay a useful flour arrow that drew back the lost front runners. Worked a treat really and kept the front group fairly well together. But still it rained.

A Cartoon Badger Ready To Give A Hug.I felt sorry for the walkers who, I found out later, had a pretty extensive Trail of their own to trudge along. In fact, NoSole, dripping from every clothing edge, didn’t get back until we were all warmly ensconced in the pub. But worse off were our Hares. Dunny seemed to have become lost so her intrepid man, Rampant, heaved a sigh and slapped back off along the Trail to find her. By the time we left they hadn’t returned so we can only hope that all went well and she wasn’t lying in a muddy ditch being eyed up by a randy badger.

Our thanks to the two of them for reorganising the Hash at short notice and laying a great Trail in excellent countryside.

There certainly hadn’t been any Down Downs by the time we left and if Shitfor had any sense (I know – I thought the same as you when I wrote that) he’d have cancelled the ceremony for today due to the appalling weather and the fact that no-one would have gone outside even if he’d asked them J

On On.  Hashgate.



Up and Coming



Grid Reference





* Clocks go back *


“Rocky Horror Timewarp Hash”
The Fifield
Fifield Road, 
Fifield, Maidenhead SL6 2NX






“Sparkler Spectacular”
The Forester Arms
79 Brunswick Street, 
Reading RG1 6NY

Ms Whiplash